Egypt - Day 14 and Day 15 - Thursday and Friday, August 14th and August 15th

Today was definitely bittersweet. We were saying good-bye to Luxor and heading to Cairo. Today was our last official day in Egypt! Tomorrow morning we leave for the States. I think I'll shed a tear!

But not before I peck on John's hands and feet! He has been a horrible chaperone! Note to self: bring birdseed with me whenever I go on a trip with John. He never feeds me! Also, don't forget my own ticket!

We flew back to Cairo (John in his luxurious seat, me confined to his carry-on luggage - AGAIN!) and headed to our hotel. Finally, we could relax. Nothing on the agenda today except for dinner tonight. Hopefully I get something to eat! But first, sleep. John and Ellen wandered around the grounds while Mr. S. and I got some sleep. He looks like a mummy when he sleeps!



When Ellen and I got back, I asked her to take pictures of me with everyone from our bus. (I would've asked John, but the stupid human got his camera wet in the Nile!). We got pictures with everyone on the bus.

There was Pam and Larry:



And Valerie and Joyce:



And Mary and David:



And Jose and Lupita:



And Bob and Carol:



And Mary Ruth and Barb (wait, where is there picture? I know we took one! John, you better find it and update it when you get the chance, OK)

And of course, our fearless leader (aka - Tour Guide), Ahmed:



We had dinner that night at an Asian restaurant on a floating boat in the Nile. John learned how to use chopsticks, and I learned that JOHN IS HORRIBLE PERSON WHO DOESN'T FEED CHICKENS AS OFTEN AS HE SHOULD!!! Maybe I'll get some dinner at the hotel when we go back? Nope. They went to bed early so they wouldn't be tired the next day.

The last day (travel day) to the US was uneventful. By uneventful I mean LONG. I was stuck in the overhead compartment listening to young children SCREAMING. I thought for sure John was torturing them, they were so loud. But it was just the air pressure getting to their little ears. If you let me out of this bag, I'll peck their ear drums out for you! Really. No one got me out of the bag.

I assumed we made it through customs at JFK, even though John didn't declare me. I'm giving him the cold shoulder when we get back. He'll be sorry! But first, we have to get to Minneapolis and then the QC. We got through each airport safely and arrived at the Stephenson household around midnight. Kathy was up and ready to talk with us about the trip. She was fine (sad, depressed, upset and angry about not being able to go, but physically better) and I was tired from all of the traveling. John went to bed that night, and the next day we came to Home Sweet Home. Where I promptly ate some popcorn kernels I scrounged out the lounge chair. John, you got some 'splaining to do!

All in all, Egypt suited me. I would've enjoy more freedom and more food, but the locals were friendly (sometimes too friendly) and the climate was perfect (hot and dusty). Too bad I couldn't have stayed with the nice, young kindergarten teacher! Maybe next time ... when I travel alone!

Egypt - Day 13 - Thursday, August 13th

Today we were up before the birds! Apparently, we left early to beat the heat. All I can say is - John looks HIDEOUS in the morning! And he's grumpy, too. Remind me never to tick him off in before noon.

On the itinerary today: Queen Hapshutsut's temple, the tombs of King Tut and other pharaohs, and then the chicken farm! I can't wait!

First up: Queen Hapshutsut's temple.



It was totally cool! Apparently, it was buried under sand for years and was only recently excavated. A very royal, regal place. Very spacious. I would've stayed all day, but we had tombs to explore. Onward!



When we got to the Valley of the Kings, it was a scene straight out of "The Mummy". Trails led to outcroppings and hills that were most likely tombs. We were allowed to go in three. We went into some AMAZING tombs! The coloring on the tomb walls were awesome! As an added bonus, we got to visit the Valley of the Queens. Less visited, it was just as fun. I even got to explore an unnamed tomb.



The guard yelled at John. I laughed to myself. This day is perfect.

And then it wasn't. As we boarded the bus, John put me in his bag. I didn't mind, because I knew in a few minutes we'd be at the farm. I wanted to mingle with the hens and chicks of Egypt. The bus stopped, I heard voices, and then silence. Where did everyone go? OH, MY, GOD!!! HE LEFT ME ON THE BUS! He knew I was looking forward to this visit. HE IS SO DEAD! I plotted his death while he was away. I could push him off the balcony at the hotel. Or I could throw his passport in the Nile so he would be stuck in Nile forever! Or I could peck his brains out. I was still plotting when he got back. He apologized but I ignored him. I gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the day. Not like he noticed!

After dinner we took a tour of Luxor. It was GREAT! First we got in a horse-drawn carriage. I said "Hi" to our horse and then we were off. It was night so it had cooled off. However, it was very dusty. Just the way I liked it. We went through the back streets of Luxor. We saw toy shops and fruit stands and butchers. "Help me! He's going to murder me!" Before I could help the CHICKEN held up by his neck in front of our carriage, we had moved on. John, of course, took a picture of the chicken and the butcher! This is the last time I go on a trip with John! Maybe if I smoke on this hookah, all will be forgotten.



Nope, I still remember!

We went back to our room and started packing, as tomorrow was our last day in Egypt. I was sad. However, I perked up knowing that I won't have to be around John much longer. He is such a heathen! I slept great, thanks in large part to the hookah. Apple-flavored tobacco is a great relaxant!

Egypt - Day 12 - Wednesday, August 12th

Today we had to leave our boat. I was sad to leave because the service and food (what little I had) were excellent! I will especially miss Hani, as he was always kind to me. He liked me so much that he wanted his picture taken with me. Wait? How did John get in there?



John even gave him his bag of Oreos to share with the crew. Wait a minute - Now what will I eat when I'm stuck in the bag?

We disembarked in Luxor and headed to the Steingenberger Nile Palace, our hotel for the next two days and nights. It was a very large hotel and our room was on the top floor. We even had a little balcony to view the courtyard below.



I thought about flying across the river to visit the tombs of King Tut and his friends, but the heat had me broiling! Thankfully, John left me in the nice, cool room while they ate pizza in the restaurant below. I'm sure he'll feed later. Right?

Wrong! He came back and put me in the bag. Not the bag again! I would've fought him, but I was so tired that I didn't realize it was him until I heard the bus start up! I better get to see this temple!

I did. John took me out when we got to Karnak temple. The grounds were huge! There were statues



and monuments



and pillars!



I so wanted to fly up there and scout out the area. But John had a tight grip on me.

I also wanted to peck his hands off me when we got to the scarab statue.



If I fly 7 times around it clockwise, will that get rid of John? Apparently I was not allowed a chance to do that. I left with John, disappointed I was still with him. Will I ever be a free bird?

We went back to the hotel, where John chatted with Kathy on-line and I did nothing. I eventually fell asleep, saddened by the fact that tomorrow was our last "real" day in Egypt. And we get to go to a chicken farm! Yay!

Egypt - Day 11 - Tuesday, August 11th

According to our itinerary for today, the early riser coffee was to be served at 7 AM. No one told the man with the loudspeaker who did a call for worship at about 5 AM. It was the dawn call, but wasn't even dawn! And did he have to be so loud? I saw John and Mr. S. rustle in their sleep. John went back to bed while Mr. S. chose to go up on deck. I went back to sleep. It is vacation, after all.

John woke up and went to breakfast around 8 AM. Did I get breakfast? Of course not! I am gonna have to lode a complain with our waiter. Where is Hani? Before I could find him, John took me up to the sun deck. I'll have to let Hani know about my problems later. He'll understand, I'm sure.

While up top, we got to watch as the ship went through the Esna Lock. Once we through, we got to experience more lush and verdant shorelines. There were children playing and swimming. I even saw some cattle and water buffalo. They were mingling with some native birds. Egrets, I think. I couldn't verify for sure because none of them came to visit the boat. Before I could fly out to meet them, John took me inside. It was time for our lecture.

Our guide, Ahmed, talked about everything and anything Egyptian. The education system, the police system, the court system. I was not really paying attention because I was HUNGRY!!!! When's lunch? Right now? GREAT!!! John took me to the restaurant and proceeded to eat in front of me. NOT NICE!! I will get my revenge. He better sleep with one eye open!

When he was done with lunch, he took a nap. Did he sleep with one eye open? I don't know because he stuck me in the bag. Stupid bag! I really should figure out how to get out of here. Oh, look - Twizzlers! I spent the rest of the time in the bag trying to open the Twizzler's bag. Just when I had figured it out, John took me out of the bag and said we were going to the Temple of Luxor. I don't wanna! I clucked. He didn't notice. Stupid human!

The Temple of Luxor was very big. And also kind of cool. I got to hang out with Ramses II (insert pictures) as well as with a sphinx (insert picture) There were a lot of sphinxes to hang out with and I would've visited with all of them. Unfortunately, I ran out of time, as John took me to dinner. Would I finally get fed?

Of course not. John and the other others enjoyed their last dinner on the boat without me. I would've raised a ruckus if it weren't for the celebratory desserts they presented. Apparently Ellen had her birthday early this year! The guide told the cooks that her birthday was August 2nd; it's really November 2nd. The look on her face was PRICELESS!!! I forgot about being hungry. Now that I've embarrassed Ellen, how do I embarrass John?

I pondered that thought while I got dizzy watching the Whirling Dervishes (insert video) How do they spin for so long and not get dizzy? My head was spinning just from watching them. I had to close my eyes to keep from getting dizzy myself. Bad mistake. I never opened them again the rest of the night.

Egypt - Day 10 - Monday, August 10th

I was up early, despite the fact that the galabaya party wore me out! Let's get breakfast! Oh, Johnnnnnn! Take me to breakfast - I'm hungry! He didn't take me to breakfast with him. Again. That's not very nice! Come back here! FEED ME!

John came back after eating his breakfast (I could smell the eggs on his breath!) and took me outdoors. Hopefully they feed me later on! However, I was able to ignore my hunger by looking at all of the beautiful scenery along the banks of the Nile. It sure was lush! I was ready to spread my wings and fly over to a palm grove when we arrived at Edfu. Maybe I'll get a chance to get some food here.

We took a horse and buggy ride to a local temple. Our driver informed us that our horse was pregnant! I thought she was glowing! What, John? That glow was from the sweat on your forehead? Oh, sorry.

The temple at Edfu was officially called the Temple of Horus. I wonder if he's here. Well whaddya konw? He is here!



How you doing, Horus? Again with the silent treatment. Are you mad at me? I didn't do anything - I swear! Did you want me to do something? Is that what the problem is? Well, what do you want me to do? SPEAK TO ME!! Nothing came out of his mouth. It was like talking to a brick wall. FINE! See if I talk to you ever again! I walked closer to the temple. Hey Horus - Who are these people on the wall?



Again, nothing came out of this mouth. Man, he is stubborn!




I ignored Horus. Two can play this game! In fact, I decided that I would "Walk like an Egyptian".



It was very uncomfortable. John, let's get out of here! See ya, Horus! Again no sound. Well, I tried to be nice to you!



We went back to the boat and John promptly fell asleep in the room. I couldn't go anywhere because he locked me in his bag. Again. What if I wanted dinner? Well, apparently NOTHING was on the menu that night, because that's what I got for dinner. In fact, I had no idea what time it was until John opened up the bag. He got out his Twizzlers, Oreos and me and went upstairs to the TV Lounge. I smell POPCORN!!! Give me some!! I used my "I'm a sad, pathetic, unfed chicken" look on him; it didn't work, as he set me down and didn't feed me. HOW CRUEL! He did give an Oreo to Hani, our nice waiter/bartender/DJ/turban-maker. He loved it. Where's my Oreo? Shoot ... I'd even take a Twizzler. Instead, he made me sit there and watch "Death on the Nile" on the TV. I fell asleep before the first death. Wake me when it gets good ... or when you're going to FEED ME!!! Alas, I slept through the night.

Egypt - Day 9 - Sunday, August 9th

Corrections about yesterday's events:

Apparently, my little chicken brain could not remember everything that happened in Aswan. I was SO happy to be on a camel that I forgot what happened after that. I was reminded that we boarded our cruise ship around noon on Saturday. Basically, right after the Nubian village visit. We didn't eat on the floating restaurant that day (I can't remember when we did!) because we were treated to lunch on the boat. What an AWESOME boat it was, too! I had so much fun on it. Anyway, everything that I wrote about for Saturday actually did happen on that day. I just forgot to say that we boarded the boat. I was happy about it, John was happy about it, and Ellen was EXTREMELY HAPPY about it.



I even got to enjoy a meal where chicken was NOT the main course. It was like picking worms out of the ground! I'm really going to love this place!



OK, the first thing we did today was visit the Botanical Gardens. This time we got to ride a felucca to it, as it was on Kirchner's Island in the middle of the Nile! While we were gliding along, we were serenaded by two little boys. Sadly, they didn't sing "Farmer in the Dell" or "Old McDonald Had a Farm". Those are classics!



The island was nice. Lots of palm trees and flowers. Nothing I couldn't see if I flew to Florida. However, it was a lot of fun to see local children playing games in the park. Their kids sure do know how to have fun!

We had to get back to the boat because we were going to motor on up the Nile to our next stop: Kom Ombo. This was where the Kom Ombo Temple was as well as our docking location for the night. Since we have the entire afternoon to lounge around, I think I'll do just that.



I didn't stay out too long because I didn't want to burn. I hate it when I peel! And I didn't want the Egyptians getting any ideas!

Before I knew it, 5 PM was here. We all headed to the Kom Ombo Temple, which was right in view of our boat and within 5 minutes walking distance. It is the only double temple in Egypt, so I've been told. One side is dedicated to Sobek, the crocodile god (BOO!) and the one side to Horus, the falcon god (YAY!). It was nice to see Horus again. He really didn't say much at Abu Simbel. I really wish he would tell me something. But he's very tight-lipped! I hung out with him until we had to go back to the boat.



When we got back, John gave me something. He called it a galabaya. I had no idea what it was, but it looked kind of cool. I put it on. For someone who knows absolutely nothing about sewing, John did a pretty good with my "costume".



I was glad he made me a costume because there was a party where everybody dressed up. It was SO MUCH FUN!!!!! Here are some of the pictures that Ellen and John took of everybody in their galabayas. I'll name everybody BEFORE the picture, just in case you were wondering who was who.

Of course, Ellen and John (and me!). For humans, they didn't look half-bad:



Pam and Larry:



David and Mary:



Mary Francis and Barb:



Janice and Herb



Gretchen and Marilyn



Bob and Carol



Joyce (looking very royal!)



Ahmed and Muhammed - Our guides in authentic Egyptian, non-touristy galabayas. They told us they only wear them about once a year.



Of course, if we're going to dress up, we have to dance! And there was a lot of dancing. To my chagrin, the chicken dance was never part of the dancing festitivites. But we had fun nonetheless!

Valerie got to dance with one of the waiters:



And Lupita REALLY got down with one of the crew, too. Apparently, she knows how to belly-dance!



And Bob got to be the center of attention during a dance "competition":



I was entirely amused by the festivites! Everyone had a great time and were very exhausted when the night ended. I could've watched "Cleopatra: Part I" on our in-room TV, but I decided to sleep. I didn't even take off the galabaya. It's very comfortable. John was asleep before I closed my eyes, but I followed closely.

Egypt - Day 8 - Saturday, August 8th

After a long and refreshing night of sleep (for some reason, I didn't hear John snoring! I must have been sleeping hard!), I awoke ready for the day. Today we get to ride a camel and see some Nubians! I have no idea what Nubians are, but I'm sure they're nice. Otherwise, why would we go see them?

We took a motor boat across the Nile to get to our starting point for the trek to the St. Simeon Monastery ruins. It was a great ride despite the scary eyes on the motor.



Wait a minute? What's that I see on the banks of the Nile? Are those ... camels? Woo-hoo!! They are. I can't wait to mount mine. (Pause for those who are reading this to finish blushing. I'll try to make the rest PG!) My camel was Caroline. I knew we would get along as soon as I saw her.



Sadly, I had to share the ride with John. He looked like he was having a great time. The people on the camels in front of us looked like they were having a great time, too!



We finally got to the ruins. They were awesome. Again, lots of dust and open spaces for a chicken like me to roam around. I could just imagine the monks doing their daily chores, saying their daily prayers, and -- producing their daily puppet show? Apparently, John and the rest of his group thought it would be hilarious to do an impromptu puppet show through one of the holes in the inner courtyard. I couldn't do anything but partake.



Despite there being a clear sky and no cloud in sight, I thought for sure we'd be struck down with lighting from God. But we didn't. And apparently the show was a success. But it had to end eventually. Show's over, folks! Go see the rest of the monastery! Next show: NEVER!



When we done being sacriligous, we had to go on to the Nubian Village. But first we had to get down the hill that the monastery was on! Oh, Sweet Caroline! Where are you, my love? Oh, there you are! Down the hill we go!



Apparently John had an issue with going down the hill on a camel's back. I don't know why. I just stayed put in his pant's pocket and enjoyed the ride! He only had to lean back so far that he was basically looked at Caroline's butt! (That's not very nice, Benny! You really didn't need to share that!) It was all he could do to hold on and lean back. And it was hilarious seeing him try to get on the camel. For a human, he has really short legs! We made it to level ground, John enjoyed the ride more, and then we headed off to lunch.

Lunch was on a floating restaurant. It reminded me of the times I would sit in John's bathtub while he was at work. It was full of water, of course. And he thought he had a leaky faucet! At least, that's what he told his landlord when asked about the high water bill! What? A chicken gets dirty too! Anyway ... I was enjoying the gentle rocking motion of the dock when our meal come. I sure hope that wasn't Horus?



After the vicious humans finished their lunch, we got to visit the Nubian village. I quickly found out that Nubian was a descriptor of the type of people who lived there. They were a nice, gentle people. Very kind and simple and WHAT THE *?/(* IS THAT?? THAT BETTER NOT BE A CROCODILE OR I AM SO OUT OF HERE! It was a croc, and it looked like the same one from Wednesday. What is with these people and crocodiles? I am so out of ... PUT ME DOWN, AHMED! I'M CALLING MY LAWYER!



Ahmed put me down. Whew! I dodged a bullet there! The last alligator bit my snout. I had just recovered from that. OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!



You are SO going to hear from lawyer when I get back to the states!! This is animal cruelty! Unusual punishment! I want to go home! I almost started crying. Then I saw the little old lady who wanted me as her baby. I'll go home with you! You care about me, unlike everyone on this trip! I'm not listening to you, John! I don't care if she only wants me for her baby. Wait a minute ... not AS her baby, but FOR her baby? But she's an old lady. Oh, it's her grandchild she wants me for. WAIT A MINUTE! They EAT chickens here! They don't play with them. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

We left the Nubian village and headed back to the hotel. A good afternoon at the pool is what I need. Of course, I didn't get that, because John fell asleep again as soon as we got to the room. Am I ever going to get to see the pool? Oh, well, I might as well sleep. What? We have more to do tonight. I don't wanna go! That's right .. I'm pouting. I almost got eaten by a crocodile and abducted by Nubians! Why would I want to go to a museum about them? They have a baboon there? Really? Well, I'll go, but only if I can get the baboon as a bodyguard. And I don't me YOU, JOHN!

After a quick nap in the room, we went to the museum around 5 PM that night. And it had all of the things that John promised they might have (he's very non-committal).

There was a baboon (another good listener)



There was a mighty lion (surprisingly quiet for the king of the jungle)



I found my Egyptian coop:



There was a golden ram (I think he's related to the golden goose.)



There were some Nubian warriors there. I wish they were with me this afternoon; I could've used them to talk some sense to their Nubian kinship!



And, of course, there were mummies. 2 kinds, in fact. One REALLY OLD kind (apparently, they just threw the body in a sand pit and covered it up and let the sand do it's thing) and one not-so-old mummy (but definitely cool to look at, as it was covered in a golden sarcophagus)



Despite the animosity that I had with the Nubians earlier in the day, I enjoyed myself at the museum. I was able to understand their culture a little bit better. I will forgive them, but I definitely will NOT FORGET! I'm got my eye on you, my Nubian friends! What? You have your eye on me, too?



Well, um, OK. Fine. That makes us even. You don't mess with me and I won't mess with you. Deal? What? Ok, John says we got to go back to the room and pack. Tomorrow we board our cruise boat. I CANNOT WAIT!!!