The following is a transcript of a phonecall received on June 6, 2009, at 10 p.m.
Kathy: Hello?
Benny: Hey there, gorgeous swan! This is Benny.
Kathy: Uh, hi there, Benny. What's up?
Benny: Well, not much. Just the sky.
Kathy: You sound like John, Benny.
Benny: Do NOT compare me to that lazy beast! I am nothing like him! I would have already finished posting the California trip. I would have already put up the pictures.
Kathy: I'm sorry, Benny. I didn't mean to insult you.
Benny: (feathers deruffling) Oh, I can never stay angry with you for long, you delectable oriole!
Kathy: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) O-k then. What can I do for you anyway?
Benny: Actually, I was calling you about J- I mean, he who will not be named. I've been trying to get him to finish the trip story, but nothing is working. I've tried bribery, cajoling (yes, cajoling!), and threats. None of my efforts has been successful.
Kathy: What do you expect me to do? You know he never listens to me. Even during a phone conversation, he only 1/2 listens.
Benny: Can't you do something??? I'm desperate here!
Kathy: Have you tried asking Sven/Chris? He sees J- at work, maybe he can beat him into submission, chain him to his keyboard, or something.
Benny: That wouldn't work. He'd just log into Facebook and play WordTwist all night.
Kathy: True. Well, I won't be down there for a couple weeks, so there's not much I can do.
Benny: I guess that leaves me only one option.
Kathy: What's that?
Benny: I'll have to call in the Big Canary to lean on him a little.
Kathy: The Big Canary? What's he, the head of organized bird-dom?
Benny: Yes. I'm sure you know him. He hangs out on the street quite a lot.
Kathy: Um, would that be Sesame Street?
Benny: Why, yes! One lean from the Big Canary, and J- will never question my authority over him again!
Kathy: Benny,
Benny: Yes, my little pigeon of delight?
Kathy: You scare me!
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John, I'm asking you as a friend- PLEASE FINISH THE CALIFORNIA TRIP SO I DON'T GET ANOTHER CALL FROM BENNY! HE SCARES ME!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Frantic phonecall
Posted by kathygolondon at 10:17 PM
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3 comments:
I'm working on it! Don't pressure me! If he brings out the "Big Canary", then I'll have to call in the Snuffleupagus!
Haven't you heard? Snuffleupagus is Big Canary's "hitman"- no one ever sees him except the Big Canary for a reason, you know! If you do see him, you're DEAD!
I can tell you that I work for the BIG C from time ti time and well Snuffleupagus is one mean dude. I trained him in his art of snufffing people out! and well he is good at it. -SVEN
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