You're still not done with the summer vacation?

Benny - I'm exhausted! Your sister is much more active than you are, Busta!
Busta - Don't you know it! You thought the trip out West was exhausting! Man, her trips are worse! But she is in the army, after all.
Benny - Speaking of trips out West ... Why isn't our Summer trip done?
Busta - I'm taking time to savor the memories and depict them the correct way. You know, like a good wine.
Benny - Poppycock! Hogwash! You are just a procrastinator!
Busta - Yes. But it's a brand new year. "New Year - New Me!". That's my catchphrase for this year. Catchy, huh?
Benny - Here's my catchphrase: "Finish the trip or die!".
Busta - I think that will catch on. At least, with me.
Benny - Good. Now, start writing before I peck your finger off.
Busta - Which one?
Benny - You choose.
Busta - Lucky me.
Benny - TYPE!

Trip to the West - July 14th

Day 10 - I was up with the sun today. We get to go West today! I can't wait to see Call Condor in L.A.. He's been waiting for my arrival for years. I'm so excited!

After tearing down camp, we got into the car and headed towards Moab in eastern Utah. It was a beautiful day and the sky was - HEY! EASTERN Utah? I thought we were going to L.A. - land of sun, beaches, and hot chicks. Don't make me turn this car around! I'm not kidding! Stupid window! Busta's locked it and I can't get out! Baw-bawk! Help! I'm being help captive! Someone call the police! I've been birdnapped! Help!

They're slowing down. What for? Aahhh ... breakfast. I sat and watched as they ate ... right in front of me! I'm probably related to your breakfast! Finally - help.

Listen, Lone Ranger, I need you to "Hi Ho, Silver, Away!" for assistance while Tonto and I fend them off with a fork. Now, quick - go! Don't just stand there! They're coming! Are you made of cardboard or something? Hurry ... Why, hello, Wanda. What a pretty shirt. "Novia Scotia" - where's that? She picked me up without answering. I glared at the Lone Ranger and Tonto. "Tonto means stupid!" I squawked as I exited with Wanda. Against my will, I might add.

Fine! If I have to go east, then I'll look out the windows. But I won't enjoy the ... Hey, why is everything so gray out here? And now around this bend it's all blue? Turn the corner! I want the next color! Ooohhhh .... brown. I didn't see that coming. Busta, watch the road. There's no guard rails, and I'm not sure I can muster the energy to fly if we wreck. Don't look at me like that - Watch the road! Squawk! You're making me nervous! Are we there yet? What? An unscheduled stop? You mad man, Busta!

We had stopped at Capital Reef National Park. It was the on the way to Moab (in EASTERN Utah!) so they figured they could explore for acouple hours. We saw the "reef" and then "

off-roaded" in the Grand Wash.

I finally was allowed some air, but the sun was broiling hot, so I found some shade. At least Wanda is nice to her hostages. Busta's driving made me want to peck his eyes out. Stupid driver! After a few more minutes of echoing in the canyon (Bawk! bawk! bawk!), we left to get back on the road. It was kind of fun and I actually got to stretch my legs (my arches in my foot are killing me!) and get some sun. All against my better judgement, of course.

So we got to Moab at a decent hour (the sun was setting - IN THE WEST!), set up tent, and had dinner. Or rather, they did. Again, I had to fend for myself. I gave them an evil look when they got back. You will pay for this! You ... will ... pay!!!!! Then I fell asleep.

Polly's Big Adventure

WHEWWW! It's been a long couple of weeks. My tour of Europe was OINKALICIOUS!! Had sooo much fun. Can't wait to blog all about it, but right now there's no time. I have to pack for Hawaii. I'm leaving on Sunday and will be there for 4 days. It will be nice to escape this cold harsh Illinois winter for a few days. What do you think, one piece or bikini...Yeah BIKINI all the way. Ta Ta for now... you know you are all jealous!

Trip to the West - July 13th

Day 9 – I was on unhappy bird when I woke up in the morning. My dreams were filled will unbathed-in waters, unsoared-at cliffs, unsniffed chipmunks. I’ll show them, these humans called “Ellen, Kathy and John”. The wrath of nature will descend upon them. Come, my fine-feathered friends! No sounds of wings flapping. Fine. Come crashing down from cliffs on high, oh Mother Earth! A car went whizzing by on the road outside the campground. Mother Nature, are you there? Silence. FINE!! I’ll call back later. But I ask you to smite these stupid humans! Soon I got in the car (OK, fine! I was put in the car) and off we went to Bryce Canyon.

But before Bryce Canyon, we went through Red Rock Canyon.

And they meant red! If the sun had been out in full force, we would’ve been blinded by the bluffs! I even got to peck at a tunnel! But we had a canyon named Bruce to envision, so no dawdling for us!

John had been waxing poetic about Bryce Canyon, saying how wonderful it would be.

He could only hope it was a pretty as Zion. I gave him the evil eye. I hope your eyes get struck lighting, I thought as we came to the canyon‘s edge. Nothing to see here – just some trees and some red rocks. Then we rounded the corner. It was like a tie-dye T-shirt had exploded in the canyon. All sorts of crazy rock formations and shades or red and orange filled the vista. Ellen decided to hike a trail into the bottom of the canyon for just a few minutes. Two hours later, she was regaling us with tales of rocks down below. It was glorious day. And there was more of the rim to see!

Next was a natural rock bridge. I tried to squeeze into it, but my wing was too big.

Then we went to Ponderosa Point, where I met up with Crazy Crandall Crow. He wasn’t very talkative; I think he was exhausted from his long flight. I told him to say “Hi” to the murder.

Finally, after driving through some ice pellets (John said it was hail, but I thought the whole was just like heaven), we stopped for one last photo. Ellen was the only one around, which was good, since she is my favorite. The red dress at Sven’s place did it for me! BAWK-BAWK!

After lusting after Wanda, we headed back to camp. I was a much happier chicken after my excursion to Bryce Canyon. They actually included me! And the cared so much, they surprised me with a pond in the tent for me. How sweet! Wait! Why are you getting rid of the water? Stop the bucket brigade! Well, they didn’t stop. At least they didn’t throw me out with the tent water. Sweet dreams, Mother Nature, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. You can be nice to them now.

Trip to the West – July 12th

Day 8 - Today was a glorious day. I woke up to the birds singing, the sun shining, and the humans cooperating with each other. Harmony in nature is such a great thing! According to John, we’re going to visit Zion National Park today. Apparently there are lots of rocks and rivers and trees. I love rocks and rivers and trees! These are a few of my favorite things. I could hardly wait to fly amongst the fauna of an awesome National Park. And I’m still waiting … GRRR!

I thought for sure I was going to get a grand tour of Zion. I had my picture taken with the park sign and then I saw sky for as far as my little eyes could see.






The rocks were sculptured in weird designs with colors seeping through to create a rainbow effect in the cliffs. Water seemed to be dripping from everywhere, and the Virgin River was shadowing us on our way to the visitor center. John parked the car. Then he and Ellen and Kathy left. Without me! I bawked and crowed and cried for them to come back, but they were gone. Apparently I would be stuck in my mobile prison. If I had the ability to reach the pedal, I would’ve hotwired the car and left them like they left me! How incredibly rude of them! I wanted to bathe in the western waters. I wanted to soar high amongst the cliffs. I wanted to sniff the chipmunks. But apparently I was stuck in this metal contraption they call a car. I was amazed that I didn’t get dehydrated because they didn’t leave me any water. Time kept on ticking, ticking, ticking … into the future. A future where John, Ellen and Kathy were punished for leaving me in the car. I had an elaborate murder scheme planned, but they returned before I could whittle the seatbelt into a shiv. I gave them the stinkeye for the rest of the day, but they ignored me. If they do that tomorrow, I’m flying the coop. I wonder what the Pacific Ocean looks like? My dreams that night involved death, John, and a vat of oil. I slept well.

JOHN WELLS NEEDS TO UPDATE THE TRIP OUT WEST NOW!!!

Fleeing the Country

I know you haven't heard much from me (Polly Pork).  I've tried to lay low for the last few months.  Lucky Duck and I have been hanging at Sven and Risa's trying to stay out of trouble.  It seems to follow us wherever we go.  Their place was getting a little crowded for our taste.  They have adopted a kitten and boy is he feisty, and has a taste for pork, and duck.  So we are on the run again.  The Fuzz were sniffing around the other day anyway so we knew it was time to scram.  We decided it would be a good idea to split up.  I'm headed to Europe with a friend of a friend.  I don't think the accommodations are going to be that great, something about shoving me into a backpack.  I did hear rumors that we are visiting France, Vienna, Germany and Switzerland.  I'm sure I'll have some great stories to report when I get back.  As for Lucky, sounds like he's going to try to make it to South America, we'll see how good the La Migra (border patrol agents) are in sunny California.