Benny's Chicken Chat

Washington, DC - Day 7 - Thursday, July 8th

2010-12-20T22:38:00.002-06:00

Today was nothing like yesterday. WE got up, had breakfast, shopped a little bit, had lunch at an Italian restaurant, and then left for Julie’s. No frolicking with early settlers or Indians. No pecking in open fields. No sightseeing. John sure is slacking off in his old age. Either that or the heat is getting to him. Probably both. We left for Julie’s in the mid-afternoon and got there in time for dinner. Of course, we got nothing. They even feed me popcorn when we watched the movie “UP”. That Doug is hilarious! Well, bedtime was early because tomorrow is our last day in DC and we have to see the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam and Korean War Memorials, and the American History Museum. Where has the week gone?

Washington, DC - Day 6 - Wednesday, July 7th

2010-12-20T22:36:00.002-06:00

Today we leave the comfort of Julie’s place and head to Williamsburg, VA. We’ll be staying in a hotel, so I hope they have enough room for 3 humans and 3 animals! The drive took about 4 hours, and by the time we found our hotel and checked in, it was afternoon. Still hot. Still humid. Still hazy. A bird could get used to this weather! Polly and Lucky enjoyed it, too. Although Polly never sweated – what’s that all about? Apparently today will be spent at Jamestown. We headed to the museum/reenactment area and paid admittance. (Animals free with adult admission. It good to be a chicken!) After trying to decipher the human placards inside the museum (I only could read chicken scratches), we headed outside. That’s where I had the most fun.

First, I donned armor. It was a little big.

Then, I gave a rousing sermon in the pulpit (“Be sure to take care of your animal friends”, etc.)

Someone (probably John) tried to be put in a barrel. I didn’t fit because it was full of monkeys.

I then exchanged recipes with Rocky the Rooster. Apparently he makes a killer cornbread!

The dugout canoe didn’t go anywhere. Probably would’ve helped if I had an oar. And if it was in water. Like the replica boats in the bay. I tested out the sleeping quarters, was almost forced to walk the plank, and hoisted the main sail. I was exhausted when we got to the Indian village. Home, John! I need my rest! Instead of a nice, cool hotel room, he stuck me in his smelly bag and lugged it through Colonial Williamsburg. I was so tired I didn’t even squawk when they had dinner without me. If the fifer and drummer wouldn’t have done a dinner show, I might’ve slept through it. As it was, I didn’t even notice when we got back to the hotel room. I enjoyed today. I finally got to do something fun! I guess John is too bad. What’s on the agenda for tomorrow, I wonder?

Washington, DC - Day 5 - Tuesday, July 6th

2010-12-20T22:35:00.002-06:00

Tuesday was just like the other days: hot, humid and hazy. Yay! Today we get to look at a big, open field. Oh, and maybe learn something about Abraham Lincoln. Show me the field!

First, we had to make a Waffle House stop for Ellen. Did they feed Polly, Lucky, and me? Of course not. That would be too nice.

After breakfast, we headed north to Pennsylvania. We spent some time at the Gettysburg Museum, and then we took the auto tour. John and the girls were very content to stay in the air-conditioned car since it was 100 degrees outside. Me – I wanted to soar free! But they never rolled down the windows (couldn’t waste the air conditioning). I was stuck in a rolling cage. This heat is making me woozy – I think I’m having a heat stroke! I need air! Nothing. They didn’t fall for my ruse. They smarter than they look! I had almost made it to the window when John put me in his bag. Not the bag! It got silent as they left us for dinner. I spent the next three hours plotting my revenge. However, by the time we got back to Julie’s, I was too exhausted to peck out their eyes. Maybe tomorrow …

Washington, DC - Day 4 - Monday, July 5th

2010-12-20T22:34:00.001-06:00

I arose early this morning. I spent my time before the humans got up avoiding Julie’s cat. She looks scary! Thankfully, John put us (me, Polly, Lucky) in his bag. We were out of harm’s way. Of course, that also meant we couldn’t see anything on the way to DC. If it were for the John’s water jug, we might’ve gotten heat exhaustion. Talk about hot!

Julie decided to do the hills of Arlington cemetery first. No one wants to hike up hills in heat, she figured. Me – I could’ve flown to the top of the hills, if John would let me out of this bag! But he didn’t. I heard about the eternal flame at JFK’s grave and I also heard the changing of the guard. But mainly I heard silence. Solemn silence. Everyone was paying their respects for those who fought for our freedom.

Well, we didn’t’ want the entire day to be a downer, so we caught a train to the stop near The National Archives. Julie got us tickets for the 1 PM showing. That gave us plenty of the time to eat lunch. Well, plenty of time FOR THEM! We got nothing. Bupkus. Nada. Zilch. I tried begging from bystanders, but no one understood me. I guess I have to speak Pidgin. (Pause for groan at the terrible pun. It was John’s fault – Honest!)

After lunch, we walked to the National Archives. I got to see the façade, but not the inside. Apparently “No Cameras” = “No Free Range Chickens”. So much for The Emancipation Proclamation! The tour of the Archives took about an hour, so we had two more hours until our tickets for The Washington Monument. We found a really cool sculpture garden where my comb was HUGE and trees were metallic. We wandered through the Smithsonian “Castle” and meandered our way to the Monument. We even stopped for popsicles (none for us, of course). Not too many people were wandering around the mall. It was REALLY hot! I was broiling!

Thankfully, 4 PM came quickly. We were ushered into an elevator that took us to the top. It was a very cramped area, but the views from up there were AWESOME! You could see The White House, The Capital Building, and everything in between. Amazing views. I even met some nice Japanese tourists who took my picture. I am an international celebrity, baby! I bet they would’ve fed me.

Soon our tour of the monument was over. As we descended, I realized it was almost dinner time. Wonder what’s for dinner? Well, Julie decided we should have seafood in the dockland area. We hailed a taxi that took us to an area with seafood galore! I even got some dinner, as John was generous with his crabcakes. But he didn’t give me any of his strawberry lemonade. Oh well – at least he fed me!

By the time we got on the train, found Julie’s car in the parking garage, and drove home, I was exhausted. Where’s my bed? What? Yes, yes … I’ll be ready to leave in the morning for Gettysburg. It’s a huge open field – of course I’ll be ready! I can hardly wait!

Washington, DC - Day 3 - Sunday, July 4th

2010-12-20T22:32:00.003-06:00

Stupid internal clock! I could’ve slept in today, since we’re not going to DC until late afternoon. Say what? Julie insisted on a relaxing day at her place before heading to the craziness of DC for fireworks. We had an awesome menu for lunch: hamburgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, potato salad, deviled eggs, chips. And by “we”, I mean “not us”. Only the humans ate. How rude! But it could’ve been worse – they could’ve eaten us!

After they finished the meal, they chilled out in the living room. Julie researched museum closing times and saw that The Natural History Museum was open until 7 PM. Which was perfect, since the fireworks started at 9 PM and we could visit the museum until it closed and then find a spot for the fireworks. I can’t wait!

It was our first on the train today. We were going to take it all the way to the mall in DC. I didn’t know we were going to shop. I forget my money at home. I was told this was an all-expense-paid trip to DC. No one told me I had to buy my own souvenirs. OK, Lucky, Polly – which train do we take home? What, John? There’s fireworks tonight? On the mall? Sounds dangerous. I’m in!

Turns out the “mall” was a big open grassy area in the middle of DC. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have whined. No, really … I wouldn’t have! We headed to the museum like we planned. There were LOTS of friends for me to play with. I met a polar bear, and a jelly fish, and some butterflies. We even got to be part of a totem pole! The humans wanted to look at the rocks. Me? I could’ve hung out with the woolly mammoth all night. What? The fireworks start in an hour? Let’s find a spot on the field .. I mean mall. I wanna peck!

We wandered in the twilight, looking for a patch of earth to call our own. We eventually found one near the Capital Building and sprawled out. There were quite a few people waiting for the show. Not as many as John was predicting, but still more than I’ve ever seen in one spot before. Many were playing hacky-sack, most were relaxing, some were with the Hare Krishna’s. Everyone an American. I was so proud I waved a flag. American, of course. I’m not a turkey; otherwise, I might’ve flown that one!

BOOM! That’s how the show started. Fireworks of every color exploded over the Washington Monument. Rockets red glare. And blue. And green. And purple! The display was spectacular. Everyone was cheering, John was flashing everyone (with his camera), and smoke hung in the air. And then it was over. That’s it? I want more! I can still hear! Where are we going? I don’t want to leave! Wait? Where’d all these people come from? We have to all get through that tiny door? Help! I’m being squished! Or is it squashed? SQUAWK!

Well, that was fun. NOT! Thankfully, the train platform was not too crowded. Talk about claustrophobic. And we get off at the end of the line. Awesome! Maybe I can get some sleep in John’s bag. Nope! First, he got a band-aid for a girl next to him. Then he got the fan out for the mom. What does a bird have to do to get sleep around here? Apparently nothing, because I didn’t even notice when we got to Julie’s house. No matter. I need my rest for tomorrow. Itinerary for tomorrow: Arlington Cemetery, National Archives, top of Washington Monument. In 100 degree heat. YAY!

Washington, DC - Day 2 - Saturday, July 3rd

2010-12-20T22:31:00.002-06:00

OK, I’m confused. Why aren’t we sleeping outside? Why aren’t we leaving @ 7 AM? It’s already 8:30 AM, and we haven’t left yet? What’s going on? The only item on the agenda today is Mt. Vernon? That’s it? Really? OK, but I’m not sure I can handle this laid-back, laissez-faire attitude. Time to leave? But it’s only 9 AM! (Sarcasm implied.)

Julie drove us to Alexandria, VA where we bought our tickets for the ferry to Mt. Vernon. Apparently, animals are free. Bonus! We had a little time to kill before we boarded the boat, so went into the torpedo factory. Well, sort of. It used to be a torpedo factory, but now it as an art gallery. Lots of cool art was on display. I even got to participate in an animal stampede. Totally cool!

After window-shopping in the art gallery, it was time to board the ferry. We sailed upstream an saw lots of cool houses. And then, on a hill, we saw Mt. Vernon. What a view it must be from up there. I would’ve soared like an eagle if it weren’t for the bag I was in. Yep, that’s right – I was in a plastic cage John called a “backpack”. I only knew about the houses and Mt. Vernon because I saw his pictures. At least he took me out when we got to the boat dock. I now could see the glorious day and all the spectacular scenery. We wandered around the grounds, had a late lunch, and even visited the old barn. John wouldn’t let me go in it because he didn’t think I would ever leave it. He was right.

After that, we boarded the boat to head back to old Alexandria. We passed a lot of cool shops, bought tons of candy, and had dinner @ Bilbo Baggins restaurant. Then we headed home. Not a stressful day at all. I could get used to this! Apparently tomorrow will be similarly paced. We’re not going into DC until late afternoon. Insanity! But I love it.

Washington, DC - Day 1 - Friday, July 2nd

2010-12-20T22:30:00.001-06:00

Finally, after months of preparation, we’re leaving for Washington, DC!! Heather and Ellen arrived last night. It’s Heather’s first “road trip”, so I’ll be nice to her. And Ellen’s always nice to me. John, on the other hand … well, I’ll have to keep an eye on him! Hopefully he feeds me. A bird can get hungry quickly. And he better hydrate me, too! It’s supposed to be near 100 degrees for most of the vacation. I hate it when I dry out! Other than food and water, I think John will be a great tour guide. I cannot wait!

Apparently, humans don’t get up with the birds. I had been awake for hours before Ellen, Heather and John left. Thankfully, they allowed me to bring friends! Yay! Lucky Ducky and Polly Pork. OK, here are the ground rules: The humans are VERY forgetful when it comes to food and water. And I’m in charge. That’s right – I’m a DIVA!! And an international celebrity. And don’t you forget it!

The drive to Julie’s house (John’s sister) was long. John said it would take 12 hours; we left at 8 AM and should’ve been there by 9 AM EST. John, did you schedule meal stops? You didn’t? Did you not learn your lesson in Canada? Ellen told me all about that fiasco. I will not survive the day on Wintergreen Life Savers. Feed me!

We stopped at the Indiana Welcome center for lunch. They fed me, but forgot poor Lucky & Polly. I would’ve shared, but I was starving. Tough luck, guys. Maybe next time?

Our next stop was the Ohio Welcome center. At least we all got in the picture this time. After that, our next stop was a Wendy’s in Pennsylvania. John was looking kinda hungry and tired. It was 7 PM when we stopped and we had 4 more hours to go. So much for arriving at 8 PM! They forgot to feed us, but we were so tired, I didn’t care. I was sound asleep when we got to Julie’s at 11:45 PM. I didn’t find out about the cat until the next morning. At least I slept well!

Hello!!!!!!!! Anyone out there?

2010-11-11T14:37:00.001-06:00

From the looks of this blog you'd think I never went anywhere...

Benny says: Update DC Trip NOW!

2010-08-25T00:17:00.003-05:00

Benny: Hey, Busta, John, or whatever you want to be called tonight!
John: Yes, Benny?
Benny: When are you going to update the blog with the DC trip?
John: Soon.
Benny: Is soon tomorrow?
John: Maybe
Lucky: Oh, Mr. John!!!!
John: Yes, Lucky?
Lucky: Benny says he's going to peck your eyes out if the blog doesn't get updated tomorrow.
John: Well, why didn't he tell me that himself?
Lucky: Because he's not talking to you.
Polly: He's not talking to me, either!
John: Why isn't he talking to you, Polly?
Polly: He says I ate all of the bacon. But I didn't. Lucky ate some of it, too!
Lucky: No, I didn't!
Polly: Did too!
Lucky: Did not!
John: Stop bickering! Do I have to separate you two? (Polly and Lucky both shake heads) Now, tell Benny that if he wants to give me the silent treatment, that's OK. But he won't get any breakfast in the morning!
(Hears whispering between the three animals in the corner)
Lucky: Benny says that's OK. He'll wait until you're gone tomorrow at work and then he'll get some eggs and milk.
John: Not if I put him in my backpack tonight!
Benny: You stick me in that bag and I will peck your eyes out!
John: HA! Got you to talk!
Benny: Now, if I could only get him to write about the trip ... (rubs wings together evilly)

You have got to be kidding me!!!

2010-03-05T20:57:00.002-06:00

Well...AGAIN.. it happened... I went all the way to California and did NOT see the Pacific Ocean. They even went to the beach today, ate clam chowder, saw a pelican, and I was stuck at home in a back pack. Risa says she's sorry but really is she? This is getting to be a reoccurring theme in my life, let me rephrase, my BORING life. I have a few more days to get my glimpse, we shall see.

Benny Uncensored (not that he's been censored, it's just a figure of speech)

2010-02-18T12:03:00.005-06:00

I thought it was about time that my fans get to know the "real" Benny. I'm not talking about the handsome, charismatic, globe trotting chicken that we all know and love. I'm talking about what goes on in my day-to-day life. It's not always all about Hawaii, Egypt, Vermont, etc, etc, etc... although I wish it was. Some may be jealous of me (Risa) others may pity me for being stuck in a suitcase for most of my trips (Sven), and others may not really care, so over the next week or so I'm going to journal, if you will, my every day life. I feel a little like a Swim Suit Model:

When he's not off World traveling, sunning himself in Hawaii, or eating exotic food in foreign lands, Benny likes Pina Colada's and getting caught in the rain. He also loves puppies and his fondest wish is World Peace!

So on the days I stay home my perch is here:

Yes, Sven and Risa have swords decorating their home. It's a little unorthodox, but works for them. Risa says it's better than Star Trek Figurines, and it really is a great conversation starter. So stay tuned for updates, I should have some exciting things to write about in the weeks to come. Oh, and I'm planning a trip to Cali here pretty soon, and hopefully this time it will include the BEACH (hello Busta, who goes to California and doesn't see the beach???!!!)

TTFN

2010-01-24T20:57:00.002-06:00

North Carolina Trip

Ok! There were suposed to be pic' but I am having some issues with them So here is the story.

I had a nice little trip to North Carolina over the weekend. I went with Becky and Kyle to see their friend Lindsey who is a veterinarian in North Carolina. North Carolina doesn't sound like it would be that much fun, but it is! In just a short weekend we had planned to visit the Biltmore, Ride the Dragon, and travel along the Blue Ridge parkway. It is quite a drive from Illinois to North Carolina, so we left bright and early in the morning and only stopped to switch drivers, gas, eat, and use the restroom. The drive seemed even longer than usual, because I had to sit in the middle on the cup holder. I told them I could not safely wear my seat belt this way! Kyle told me to get used to not having a seat belt because we were going on a motorcycle ride in a couple days and there will be no seat belts. You don't have to get too far out of Illinois for the scenery to change and the southern accent to start (welcome yall). I am glad to be looking at something different than just cornfields…..even if I am stuck sitting in the cup holder. We reached our final destination on Thursday around 9 p.m. It was a long day in the truck and we were exhausted. Lindsey ordered out for pizza and we just relaxed. We didn't waste any time on Friday. With it being only a weekend trip we headed to the Biltmore first thing Friday morning. I was totally impressed with how big this place was. I need to move out of the chicken shack and into something more like this! Here I am on top of the lion in front of the Biltmore. King of the Jungle isn't so scary. I included a picture of all of us with the lion too, but you can't see me very well because Lindsay's leg is blocking me. Thanks Lindsay! The detail was just amazing! I wish they would have let me take pictures inside, but I would have ended up in the Federal Coop if they caught me. I feel like I should know who this is, but I don't and it seemed like someone important so here we are! After walking through the 250 room home that included some interesting pieces of history we ate some lunch at the stables. They use to keep the horses here, but have now turned it into a restaurant. After lunch we walked over to the Biltmore Gardens.
The Biltmore Greenhouse. I know we just had lunch, but that one looked pretty tasty! This chicken is definitely not a vegetarian. After seeing over 250 types of roses and all kinds of green stuff it was time for something else. We decided to hop back in the car and drive over to the Deer Park. One last look at the Biltmore. When we got to the Deer Park it was quite a surprise. What do you mean there are no deer here? Who would have expected to find Horses at the Deer Park? Thankfully Mr. Ed was friendly, but I still put a note in the suggestion box about changing the name of this park. After visiting the Deer Park we made one final stop within the Biltmore estate at the winery. We skipped the tour and headed straight for the sampling. Like I want to know how they make it! I'm not sure how many wines we sampled, but you will notice the deer park was the last picture taken. I think it is because the rest came out blurry! After our fun filled day at the Biltmore we left Asheville and headed back to Hickory where Lindsay lives and to get some dinner. We decided to try this Mexican place that Lindsey recommended. Looking back I am wondering if she recommended it for the food, the waiter, or the margaritas. After dinner we went back to Lindsey's watched some TV and Kyle and I went to bed because we had to get up early to ride the dragon on Saturday, while Becky and Lindsay have a girls day shopping or whatever girls do. Saturday at 7 a.m. Kyle and I got up and headed to find and ride the dragon. We had to get gas in Hickory and then hit the road. The dragon starts over by US129 Deals Gap which is about a 2 hour drive from Hickory. Normally with Kyle driving we would get there much faster, but we took the scenic route on the Blue Ridge parkway. Although this added sometime to getting to where we wanted to be, it was well worth it! Here I am at the highest elevation east of the Mississippi. Driving in all these hills and mountains made Kyle very anxious to unload the bike, so that we could ride. He just couldn't take it anymore and had to pull off the road and unload even though we had not yet reached our destination. He was mumbling something to the effect that we were missing out on a bunch of really good riding. Kyle pulled off the road at some random horse stable and we unloaded. It was good to get out of the truck and get on something more suitable for these kinds of roads. We arrive at Deals gap. This is where the Dragon begins. The Dragon is an 11 mile stretch of road that has 318 turns in the mountains. I wanted to buy T-shirts right away, but Kyle insisted we eat, ride, and then get our shirts as he heard it was bad luck to buy your shirts before you actually ride the dragon. Wild Hogs all the way! We saw many Dams along this ride. I am told that the movie The Fugitive was filmed at one of them and along this stretch of road. After going down the Dragon one time we headed back to where it all starts at Deals Gap and to buy our shirts. Kyle made me ride in the pack on the back of his bike, since I didn't have a helmet. I don't know what he was doing, but it seemed like quite a ride! After our conquering the Dragon we headed back to the horse stables and loaded up. We decided to take the Blue Ridge Parkway drive back instead of taking the shortcut. We thought we might have some good views at night as well. On the way home that night Kyle and I just grabbed some McDonalds. We were going to join Becky and Lindsay at cook out / bring your pet party, but we didn't make it back in time. It would have been fun to mingle with the other animals, but I am not looking for a long distance relationship! On Sunday we decided to hang out in Asheville. We ate lunch and walked around town. It is a very artsy kind of place. I think I saw a shirt that said "if you're too weird for Asheville your weird" or something to that effect. As we walked around I found that statement to be completely true. Nobody even gave me a chicken a second look while walking around town. While eating we were deciding what we would do for our last day in North Carolina. Lindsey was feeling pretty run down from catching a cold just before we came and running around. We all decided that a drive on the Blue Ridge Parkway would be a fine relaxing way to end the trip. Kyle and I had already seen it, but we thought Becky and Lindsay would enjoy it too. We stopped and hiked along a creek and saw this waterfall. After our nice little drive we went back to Lindsey's and Lindsey finally realized that maybe she should go and see the doctor. She was feeling really run down. While she went to get checked out by doc in the box Kyle, Becky and I went and ate at Buffalo Wild Wings. After dinner we hung out one last night together and hit the road first thing Monday morning. We got back to Bloomington, IL around 5 p.m. It was another fun trip!

Wakey wakey, Benny!

2010-01-24T20:48:00.001-06:00

Benny has been strangely silent lately. Is he hibernating for the winter?

Egypt - Day 14 and Day 15 - Thursday and Friday, August 14th and August 15th

2009-12-21T23:03:00.007-06:00

Today was definitely bittersweet. We were saying good-bye to Luxor and heading to Cairo. Today was our last official day in Egypt! Tomorrow morning we leave for the States. I think I'll shed a tear!

But not before I peck on John's hands and feet! He has been a horrible chaperone! Note to self: bring birdseed with me whenever I go on a trip with John. He never feeds me! Also, don't forget my own ticket!

We flew back to Cairo (John in his luxurious seat, me confined to his carry-on luggage - AGAIN!) and headed to our hotel. Finally, we could relax. Nothing on the agenda today except for dinner tonight. Hopefully I get something to eat! But first, sleep. John and Ellen wandered around the grounds while Mr. S. and I got some sleep. He looks like a mummy when he sleeps!

When Ellen and I got back, I asked her to take pictures of me with everyone from our bus. (I would've asked John, but the stupid human got his camera wet in the Nile!). We got pictures with everyone on the bus.

There was Pam and Larry:

And Valerie and Joyce:

And Mary and David:

And Jose and Lupita:

And Bob and Carol:

And Mary Ruth and Barb (wait, where is there picture? I know we took one! John, you better find it and update it when you get the chance, OK)

And of course, our fearless leader (aka - Tour Guide), Ahmed:

We had dinner that night at an Asian restaurant on a floating boat in the Nile. John learned how to use chopsticks, and I learned that JOHN IS HORRIBLE PERSON WHO DOESN'T FEED CHICKENS AS OFTEN AS HE SHOULD!!! Maybe I'll get some dinner at the hotel when we go back? Nope. They went to bed early so they wouldn't be tired the next day.

The last day (travel day) to the US was uneventful. By uneventful I mean LONG. I was stuck in the overhead compartment listening to young children SCREAMING. I thought for sure John was torturing them, they were so loud. But it was just the air pressure getting to their little ears. If you let me out of this bag, I'll peck their ear drums out for you! Really. No one got me out of the bag.

I assumed we made it through customs at JFK, even though John didn't declare me. I'm giving him the cold shoulder when we get back. He'll be sorry! But first, we have to get to Minneapolis and then the QC. We got through each airport safely and arrived at the Stephenson household around midnight. Kathy was up and ready to talk with us about the trip. She was fine (sad, depressed, upset and angry about not being able to go, but physically better) and I was tired from all of the traveling. John went to bed that night, and the next day we came to Home Sweet Home. Where I promptly ate some popcorn kernels I scrounged out the lounge chair. John, you got some 'splaining to do!

All in all, Egypt suited me. I would've enjoy more freedom and more food, but the locals were friendly (sometimes too friendly) and the climate was perfect (hot and dusty). Too bad I couldn't have stayed with the nice, young kindergarten teacher! Maybe next time ... when I travel alone!

Egypt - Day 13 - Thursday, August 13th

2009-12-16T19:51:00.004-06:00

Today we were up before the birds! Apparently, we left early to beat the heat. All I can say is - John looks HIDEOUS in the morning! And he's grumpy, too. Remind me never to tick him off in before noon.

On the itinerary today: Queen Hapshutsut's temple, the tombs of King Tut and other pharaohs, and then the chicken farm! I can't wait!

First up: Queen Hapshutsut's temple.

It was totally cool! Apparently, it was buried under sand for years and was only recently excavated. A very royal, regal place. Very spacious. I would've stayed all day, but we had tombs to explore. Onward!

When we got to the Valley of the Kings, it was a scene straight out of "The Mummy". Trails led to outcroppings and hills that were most likely tombs. We were allowed to go in three. We went into some AMAZING tombs! The coloring on the tomb walls were awesome! As an added bonus, we got to visit the Valley of the Queens. Less visited, it was just as fun. I even got to explore an unnamed tomb.

The guard yelled at John. I laughed to myself. This day is perfect.

And then it wasn't. As we boarded the bus, John put me in his bag. I didn't mind, because I knew in a few minutes we'd be at the farm. I wanted to mingle with the hens and chicks of Egypt. The bus stopped, I heard voices, and then silence. Where did everyone go? OH, MY, GOD!!! HE LEFT ME ON THE BUS! He knew I was looking forward to this visit. HE IS SO DEAD! I plotted his death while he was away. I could push him off the balcony at the hotel. Or I could throw his passport in the Nile so he would be stuck in Nile forever! Or I could peck his brains out. I was still plotting when he got back. He apologized but I ignored him. I gave him the silent treatment for the rest of the day. Not like he noticed!

After dinner we took a tour of Luxor. It was GREAT! First we got in a horse-drawn carriage. I said "Hi" to our horse and then we were off. It was night so it had cooled off. However, it was very dusty. Just the way I liked it. We went through the back streets of Luxor. We saw toy shops and fruit stands and butchers. "Help me! He's going to murder me!" Before I could help the CHICKEN held up by his neck in front of our carriage, we had moved on. John, of course, took a picture of the chicken and the butcher! This is the last time I go on a trip with John! Maybe if I smoke on this hookah, all will be forgotten.

Nope, I still remember!

We went back to our room and started packing, as tomorrow was our last day in Egypt. I was sad. However, I perked up knowing that I won't have to be around John much longer. He is such a heathen! I slept great, thanks in large part to the hookah. Apple-flavored tobacco is a great relaxant!

Egypt - Day 12 - Wednesday, August 12th

2009-12-16T19:23:00.006-06:00

Today we had to leave our boat. I was sad to leave because the service and food (what little I had) were excellent! I will especially miss Hani, as he was always kind to me. He liked me so much that he wanted his picture taken with me. Wait? How did John get in there?

John even gave him his bag of Oreos to share with the crew. Wait a minute - Now what will I eat when I'm stuck in the bag?

We disembarked in Luxor and headed to the Steingenberger Nile Palace, our hotel for the next two days and nights. It was a very large hotel and our room was on the top floor. We even had a little balcony to view the courtyard below.

I thought about flying across the river to visit the tombs of King Tut and his friends, but the heat had me broiling! Thankfully, John left me in the nice, cool room while they ate pizza in the restaurant below. I'm sure he'll feed later. Right?

Wrong! He came back and put me in the bag. Not the bag again! I would've fought him, but I was so tired that I didn't realize it was him until I heard the bus start up! I better get to see this temple!

I did. John took me out when we got to Karnak temple. The grounds were huge! There were statues

and monuments

and pillars!

I so wanted to fly up there and scout out the area. But John had a tight grip on me.

I also wanted to peck his hands off me when we got to the scarab statue.

If I fly 7 times around it clockwise, will that get rid of John? Apparently I was not allowed a chance to do that. I left with John, disappointed I was still with him. Will I ever be a free bird?

We went back to the hotel, where John chatted with Kathy on-line and I did nothing. I eventually fell asleep, saddened by the fact that tomorrow was our last "real" day in Egypt. And we get to go to a chicken farm! Yay!

Egypt - Day 11 - Tuesday, August 11th

2009-09-06T22:50:00.006-05:00

According to our itinerary for today, the early riser coffee was to be served at 7 AM. No one told the man with the loudspeaker who did a call for worship at about 5 AM. It was the dawn call, but wasn't even dawn! And did he have to be so loud? I saw John and Mr. S. rustle in their sleep. John went back to bed while Mr. S. chose to go up on deck. I went back to sleep. It is vacation, after all.

John woke up and went to breakfast around 8 AM. Did I get breakfast? Of course not! I am gonna have to lode a complain with our waiter. Where is Hani? Before I could find him, John took me up to the sun deck. I'll have to let Hani know about my problems later. He'll understand, I'm sure.

While up top, we got to watch as the ship went through the Esna Lock. Once we through, we got to experience more lush and verdant shorelines. There were children playing and swimming. I even saw some cattle and water buffalo. They were mingling with some native birds. Egrets, I think. I couldn't verify for sure because none of them came to visit the boat. Before I could fly out to meet them, John took me inside. It was time for our lecture.

Our guide, Ahmed, talked about everything and anything Egyptian. The education system, the police system, the court system. I was not really paying attention because I was HUNGRY!!!! When's lunch? Right now? GREAT!!! John took me to the restaurant and proceeded to eat in front of me. NOT NICE!! I will get my revenge. He better sleep with one eye open!

When he was done with lunch, he took a nap. Did he sleep with one eye open? I don't know because he stuck me in the bag. Stupid bag! I really should figure out how to get out of here. Oh, look - Twizzlers! I spent the rest of the time in the bag trying to open the Twizzler's bag. Just when I had figured it out, John took me out of the bag and said we were going to the Temple of Luxor. I don't wanna! I clucked. He didn't notice. Stupid human!

The Temple of Luxor was very big. And also kind of cool. I got to hang out with Ramses II (insert pictures) as well as with a sphinx (insert picture) There were a lot of sphinxes to hang out with and I would've visited with all of them. Unfortunately, I ran out of time, as John took me to dinner. Would I finally get fed?

Of course not. John and the other others enjoyed their last dinner on the boat without me. I would've raised a ruckus if it weren't for the celebratory desserts they presented. Apparently Ellen had her birthday early this year! The guide told the cooks that her birthday was August 2nd; it's really November 2nd. The look on her face was PRICELESS!!! I forgot about being hungry. Now that I've embarrassed Ellen, how do I embarrass John?

I pondered that thought while I got dizzy watching the Whirling Dervishes (insert video) How do they spin for so long and not get dizzy? My head was spinning just from watching them. I had to close my eyes to keep from getting dizzy myself. Bad mistake. I never opened them again the rest of the night.

Egypt - Day 10 - Monday, August 10th

2009-09-02T22:02:00.005-05:00

I was up early, despite the fact that the galabaya party wore me out! Let's get breakfast! Oh, Johnnnnnn! Take me to breakfast - I'm hungry! He didn't take me to breakfast with him. Again. That's not very nice! Come back here! FEED ME!

John came back after eating his breakfast (I could smell the eggs on his breath!) and took me outdoors. Hopefully they feed me later on! However, I was able to ignore my hunger by looking at all of the beautiful scenery along the banks of the Nile. It sure was lush! I was ready to spread my wings and fly over to a palm grove when we arrived at Edfu. Maybe I'll get a chance to get some food here.

We took a horse and buggy ride to a local temple. Our driver informed us that our horse was pregnant! I thought she was glowing! What, John? That glow was from the sweat on your forehead? Oh, sorry.

The temple at Edfu was officially called the Temple of Horus. I wonder if he's here. Well whaddya konw? He is here!

How you doing, Horus? Again with the silent treatment. Are you mad at me? I didn't do anything - I swear! Did you want me to do something? Is that what the problem is? Well, what do you want me to do? SPEAK TO ME!! Nothing came out of his mouth. It was like talking to a brick wall. FINE! See if I talk to you ever again! I walked closer to the temple. Hey Horus - Who are these people on the wall?

Again, nothing came out of this mouth. Man, he is stubborn!

I ignored Horus. Two can play this game! In fact, I decided that I would "Walk like an Egyptian".

It was very uncomfortable. John, let's get out of here! See ya, Horus! Again no sound. Well, I tried to be nice to you!

We went back to the boat and John promptly fell asleep in the room. I couldn't go anywhere because he locked me in his bag. Again. What if I wanted dinner? Well, apparently NOTHING was on the menu that night, because that's what I got for dinner. In fact, I had no idea what time it was until John opened up the bag. He got out his Twizzlers, Oreos and me and went upstairs to the TV Lounge. I smell POPCORN!!! Give me some!! I used my "I'm a sad, pathetic, unfed chicken" look on him; it didn't work, as he set me down and didn't feed me. HOW CRUEL! He did give an Oreo to Hani, our nice waiter/bartender/DJ/turban-maker. He loved it. Where's my Oreo? Shoot ... I'd even take a Twizzler. Instead, he made me sit there and watch "Death on the Nile" on the TV. I fell asleep before the first death. Wake me when it gets good ... or when you're going to FEED ME!!! Alas, I slept through the night.

Egypt - Day 9 - Sunday, August 9th

2009-09-01T23:32:00.007-05:00

Corrections about yesterday's events:

Apparently, my little chicken brain could not remember everything that happened in Aswan. I was SO happy to be on a camel that I forgot what happened after that. I was reminded that we boarded our cruise ship around noon on Saturday. Basically, right after the Nubian village visit. We didn't eat on the floating restaurant that day (I can't remember when we did!) because we were treated to lunch on the boat. What an AWESOME boat it was, too! I had so much fun on it. Anyway, everything that I wrote about for Saturday actually did happen on that day. I just forgot to say that we boarded the boat. I was happy about it, John was happy about it, and Ellen was EXTREMELY HAPPY about it.

I even got to enjoy a meal where chicken was NOT the main course. It was like picking worms out of the ground! I'm really going to love this place!

OK, the first thing we did today was visit the Botanical Gardens. This time we got to ride a felucca to it, as it was on Kirchner's Island in the middle of the Nile! While we were gliding along, we were serenaded by two little boys. Sadly, they didn't sing "Farmer in the Dell" or "Old McDonald Had a Farm". Those are classics!

The island was nice. Lots of palm trees and flowers. Nothing I couldn't see if I flew to Florida. However, it was a lot of fun to see local children playing games in the park. Their kids sure do know how to have fun!

We had to get back to the boat because we were going to motor on up the Nile to our next stop: Kom Ombo. This was where the Kom Ombo Temple was as well as our docking location for the night. Since we have the entire afternoon to lounge around, I think I'll do just that.

I didn't stay out too long because I didn't want to burn. I hate it when I peel! And I didn't want the Egyptians getting any ideas!

Before I knew it, 5 PM was here. We all headed to the Kom Ombo Temple, which was right in view of our boat and within 5 minutes walking distance. It is the only double temple in Egypt, so I've been told. One side is dedicated to Sobek, the crocodile god (BOO!) and the one side to Horus, the falcon god (YAY!). It was nice to see Horus again. He really didn't say much at Abu Simbel. I really wish he would tell me something. But he's very tight-lipped! I hung out with him until we had to go back to the boat.

When we got back, John gave me something. He called it a galabaya. I had no idea what it was, but it looked kind of cool. I put it on. For someone who knows absolutely nothing about sewing, John did a pretty good with my "costume".

I was glad he made me a costume because there was a party where everybody dressed up. It was SO MUCH FUN!!!!! Here are some of the pictures that Ellen and John took of everybody in their galabayas. I'll name everybody BEFORE the picture, just in case you were wondering who was who.

Of course, Ellen and John (and me!). For humans, they didn't look half-bad:

Pam and Larry:

David and Mary:

Mary Francis and Barb:

Janice and Herb

Gretchen and Marilyn

Bob and Carol

Joyce (looking very royal!)

Ahmed and Muhammed - Our guides in authentic Egyptian, non-touristy galabayas. They told us they only wear them about once a year.

Of course, if we're going to dress up, we have to dance! And there was a lot of dancing. To my chagrin, the chicken dance was never part of the dancing festitivites. But we had fun nonetheless!

Valerie got to dance with one of the waiters:

And Lupita REALLY got down with one of the crew, too. Apparently, she knows how to belly-dance!

And Bob got to be the center of attention during a dance "competition":

I was entirely amused by the festivites! Everyone had a great time and were very exhausted when the night ended. I could've watched "Cleopatra: Part I" on our in-room TV, but I decided to sleep. I didn't even take off the galabaya. It's very comfortable. John was asleep before I closed my eyes, but I followed closely.

Egypt - Day 8 - Saturday, August 8th

2009-09-01T21:37:00.011-05:00

After a long and refreshing night of sleep (for some reason, I didn't hear John snoring! I must have been sleeping hard!), I awoke ready for the day. Today we get to ride a camel and see some Nubians! I have no idea what Nubians are, but I'm sure they're nice. Otherwise, why would we go see them?

We took a motor boat across the Nile to get to our starting point for the trek to the St. Simeon Monastery ruins. It was a great ride despite the scary eyes on the motor.

Wait a minute? What's that I see on the banks of the Nile? Are those ... camels? Woo-hoo!! They are. I can't wait to mount mine. (Pause for those who are reading this to finish blushing. I'll try to make the rest PG!) My camel was Caroline. I knew we would get along as soon as I saw her.

Sadly, I had to share the ride with John. He looked like he was having a great time. The people on the camels in front of us looked like they were having a great time, too!

We finally got to the ruins. They were awesome. Again, lots of dust and open spaces for a chicken like me to roam around. I could just imagine the monks doing their daily chores, saying their daily prayers, and -- producing their daily puppet show? Apparently, John and the rest of his group thought it would be hilarious to do an impromptu puppet show through one of the holes in the inner courtyard. I couldn't do anything but partake.

Despite there being a clear sky and no cloud in sight, I thought for sure we'd be struck down with lighting from God. But we didn't. And apparently the show was a success. But it had to end eventually. Show's over, folks! Go see the rest of the monastery! Next show: NEVER!

When we done being sacriligous, we had to go on to the Nubian Village. But first we had to get down the hill that the monastery was on! Oh, Sweet Caroline! Where are you, my love? Oh, there you are! Down the hill we go!

Apparently John had an issue with going down the hill on a camel's back. I don't know why. I just stayed put in his pant's pocket and enjoyed the ride! He only had to lean back so far that he was basically looked at Caroline's butt! (That's not very nice, Benny! You really didn't need to share that!) It was all he could do to hold on and lean back. And it was hilarious seeing him try to get on the camel. For a human, he has really short legs! We made it to level ground, John enjoyed the ride more, and then we headed off to lunch.

Lunch was on a floating restaurant. It reminded me of the times I would sit in John's bathtub while he was at work. It was full of water, of course. And he thought he had a leaky faucet! At least, that's what he told his landlord when asked about the high water bill! What? A chicken gets dirty too! Anyway ... I was enjoying the gentle rocking motion of the dock when our meal come. I sure hope that wasn't Horus?

After the vicious humans finished their lunch, we got to visit the Nubian village. I quickly found out that Nubian was a descriptor of the type of people who lived there. They were a nice, gentle people. Very kind and simple and WHAT THE *?/(* IS THAT?? THAT BETTER NOT BE A CROCODILE OR I AM SO OUT OF HERE! It was a croc, and it looked like the same one from Wednesday. What is with these people and crocodiles? I am so out of ... PUT ME DOWN, AHMED! I'M CALLING MY LAWYER!

Ahmed put me down. Whew! I dodged a bullet there! The last alligator bit my snout. I had just recovered from that. OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are SO going to hear from lawyer when I get back to the states!! This is animal cruelty! Unusual punishment! I want to go home! I almost started crying. Then I saw the little old lady who wanted me as her baby. I'll go home with you! You care about me, unlike everyone on this trip! I'm not listening to you, John! I don't care if she only wants me for her baby. Wait a minute ... not AS her baby, but FOR her baby? But she's an old lady. Oh, it's her grandchild she wants me for. WAIT A MINUTE! They EAT chickens here! They don't play with them. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

We left the Nubian village and headed back to the hotel. A good afternoon at the pool is what I need. Of course, I didn't get that, because John fell asleep again as soon as we got to the room. Am I ever going to get to see the pool? Oh, well, I might as well sleep. What? We have more to do tonight. I don't wanna go! That's right .. I'm pouting. I almost got eaten by a crocodile and abducted by Nubians! Why would I want to go to a museum about them? They have a baboon there? Really? Well, I'll go, but only if I can get the baboon as a bodyguard. And I don't me YOU, JOHN!

After a quick nap in the room, we went to the museum around 5 PM that night. And it had all of the things that John promised they might have (he's very non-committal).

There was a baboon (another good listener)

There was a mighty lion (surprisingly quiet for the king of the jungle)

I found my Egyptian coop:

There was a golden ram (I think he's related to the golden goose.)

There were some Nubian warriors there. I wish they were with me this afternoon; I could've used them to talk some sense to their Nubian kinship!

And, of course, there were mummies. 2 kinds, in fact. One REALLY OLD kind (apparently, they just threw the body in a sand pit and covered it up and let the sand do it's thing) and one not-so-old mummy (but definitely cool to look at, as it was covered in a golden sarcophagus)

Despite the animosity that I had with the Nubians earlier in the day, I enjoyed myself at the museum. I was able to understand their culture a little bit better. I will forgive them, but I definitely will NOT FORGET! I'm got my eye on you, my Nubian friends! What? You have your eye on me, too?

Well, um, OK. Fine. That makes us even. You don't mess with me and I won't mess with you. Deal? What? Ok, John says we got to go back to the room and pack. Tomorrow we board our cruise boat. I CANNOT WAIT!!!

Egypt - Day 7 - Friday, August 7th

2009-09-01T12:15:00.007-05:00

Cock-a-doodle --- Oh, who am I kidding? The sun wasn't up when we had to leave this morning. In fact, John wasn't even up when Mr. S. woke up and went to breakfast. John just rolled back to sleep and didn't get up until 15 minutes before we had to leave! He didn't even eat breakfast. Doesn't he realize that I need food? I was ready to complain when he put me in his bag and we left the room. Oh, great! Another ride in the bag!

We left our hotel around 5 AM. It was pitch black and there was no one around. The road in front of us was a straight line south. The sun rose around 6 AM but I didn't notice it, so I couldn't welcome it to the day with a "cock-a-doodle-doo" like I'm used to doing. Once it rose, I noticed the scenery was brown and dusty. Again, my favorite type of landscape!

Psst ... Ellen, wake up! Rise and shine, precious! HEY!!!!!! I said "WAKE UP!!!!!!" If you don't wake up, John will take your picture. She's not waking up, John. Take her picture.

She woke up right after he took the picture. Silly humans!

We arrived at Abu Simbel around 8 AM. I was very glad we got there at that time, as the sun was already getting high in the sky, broasting me. Hopefully we're not here for too long? We're here for 3 hours? Well, then let's get moving!

First we saw the temple of Abu Simbel. This was another temple they had to move when they built the dam. Apparently they moved a lot of stuff because of that dam. I hope it was worth it!

As we approached the entrance to the temple, I noticed some statues that looked very familiar to me. Is that cousin Horus I see? It is!!!

I asked him how the family was, how the weather has been since he's moved to Egypt, how people were treating him, etc. He's not a big talker, but he's an excellent listener!

After hanging out with Horus, I went over and spent some time at Queen Nefertari's temple. Even though there are 4 statues of Ramses II and only 2 of her, it's still her temple!

OK, I've seen the temple for Ramses II, visited with Horus, and gazed in wonder at Nefertari's temple. Anything else to do here? Anything? No. Fine. I'm going for a swim.

Before I could do a swan dive into Lake Nasser, John grabbed me and said we were leaving. Fine! I'll go swimming when we get back to the hotel. Hey, John. I'm hungry. Got any food in that sack lunch they gave you? Just some cheese? Fine, I'll eat that.

The bus ride was another 2 1/2 hours back to our hotel. John slept for most of it and I regretted eating the cheese for all of it. It did NOT sit well with my stomach! I was ready to puke up my gizzard when we got to the hotel. Don't put me in the ... Too late. John put me in the bag. Surprisingly, that helped my stomach. However, John's snoring didn't help me sleep. He sure does sleep a lot! I don't know what they did for the rest of the day, but I slept. An upset stomach sure does make me drowsy. I wonder what Horus takes to stay "regulated"? I'll have to ask him if I see him again. Tomorrow we ride a camel! I can't wait!

Egypt - Day 6 - Thursday, August 6th

2009-08-31T00:38:00.012-05:00

Today was our first full day in Aswan! I only got to see it in the dark last night. In the daytime, it was a dusty place. I'm going to like this place a lot! Well, I thought I was going to like it a lot. And then things got a little out of control!

First we went to the Philae Temple in the morning. We took a boat to get there. Remember all of those life preservers on the bus? Well, apparently, they're for the humans. Hrumph! See if I help YOU if the boat capsizes. You're on your own! We made it to the temple fine. Apparently they had to move it when they made the dam. They did a good job, from what I could tell. Ok, let's get out of here. It's getting hot and I'm hungry because SOMEONE didn't feed me breakfast!

Our lunch was on an island in the Nile River. We got off our boat and walked up a path that led to an area with a large canopy over tables, chairs and a buffet line. I got some good eats!

Ok, now I'm full. Are we ready for a nap? Wait, what? We're going swimming ... IN THE NILE? Aren't there, like, crocodiles and other nasty creatures in there? There's not? Ummm.... Are you sure? I was told not to swim until 30 minutes after eating. Really, John? You want to go swimming in the Nile? Fine. I'll go with you and guard your camera. But I'm getting very drowsy from all of the food, so let's hurry this up, OK?

We went to a local beach that our guide knew about. We approached the restaurant area near it and wouldn't you know it? One of the locals was holding a baby crocodile!

I thought you said there would be no crocodiles! Don't you dare get me near that thing!

Apparently, John and the rest of the group didn't hear me. Before I knew what was happening, I was getting chicken-handled by the guide who was putting me dangerously close to the croc. Don't ... go ... any ... closer!

OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's got my beak! Get him off, get him off, get him .. BAWKKKKKK!!!!!!

Thankfully I was able to escape the clutches of the evil crocodile. Unfortunately, John was nowhere near me. HE IS SO TOAST!!! Where is he? He had meandered down to the river to take a dunk. He was taking all sorts of pictures with his camera. I didn't know he had a waterproof camera? He took a picture of me with Mr. S. and a picture of me chilling out on the beach, guarding his flip-flops.

We hung out at the river for a VERY long time. The water was nice and cold (from what I was told - I ain't swimming in there!) Thankfully the crocodile didn't get me too badly with his snout. However, I did want to get a piece of him before we left because that wasn't very nice. Our guide redeemed himself by letting me "ride" the crocodile. I rode that bad boy hard! If I had a whip, he would've been sore!

That made me feel invigorated. Let's go back to the hotel and raise the dead! Imhotep!!!! How about it, John? He stifled a yawn and said "Sure. We'll go to the pool and play chicken". Awesome! We got back to our hotel room and John promptly laid down and fell asleep. He didn't even take off his wet shorts! He must've been exhausted! The heat had taken a toll on me, too. So I rested beside him and closed my eyes.

BBBBBAAAWWWWWKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up from a horrible dream where an alligator was chomping off my beak. Thank goodness it was only a crocodile that did that to me today! I was about ready to peck off John's toenails when he woke up. Apparently it was time to go to the light show at the Philae Temple. I didn't go, which was fine, because I needed to ruffle my feathers some while they were out. What? They locked the door! And me without opposable thumbs to open the door! Fine! I'll go back to sleep. We have to leave early tomorrow anyway. The birds won't even be up yet, because we're leaving at 5 AM. But we're going to Abu Simbel tomorrow, which should be awesome. I didn't even hear John and Mr. S. come in because I was sound asleep.

Egypt - Day 5 - Wednesday, August 5th

2009-08-26T23:35:00.006-05:00

I awoke from a restless slumber. Man, John sure does snore loudly! At least he has been a good friend by feeding me and keeping me away from the Egyptians who want me! What? No breakfast? I better get lunch!!

Today was an easy day, as John didn't take me into any of the places he went to. This was fine by me, as Cairo is CRAZY!! They went to a museum/mosque where John climbed a minaret. I got to stay on the bus and hear the tour guide argue with the Tourism Police. Apparently John's group of minaret climbers were holding up the entourage and the police were not happy about that!

Everything got squared away and we were off to lunch. I had a slice of watermelon and a banana. 2 days in a row without chicken? Are the Egyptians seeing the error of there ways? We shall see ...

Once we were done there, we had to go to the airport, as we were leaving the dusty, brown city of Cairo for the South of Egypt. Aswan, here we come!

Again, I had to ride in John's bag. You know, I would be a much happier bird if I got my own seat! John paid no attention to me (yet again) and stuffed me in the overhead compartment. At least it was a short flight!

We arrived in Aswan in the evening. Once the bags were loaded on the bus, John took me out. Apparently we're going to be swimming soon, as he put me with the life preservers!

Maybe it was so I wouldn't drown in the hotel fountain?

We got to our hotel room and I promptly fell asleep. Who knew that doing nothing would be so tiring?

Egypt - Day 4 - Tuesday, August 4th

2009-08-26T00:15:00.011-05:00

When I woke up, John was ready to go for breakfast. I must say, he has made up for not feeding me on the plane. Despite having to eat eggs, I did enjoy some pineapple and a roll.

Now that I am physically fed, it's time to get spiritually fed! Off to our Spiritual Cairo tour! First stop: the Mosque. I can't remember which one it was. I did enjoy the open spaces and lighted areas. I especially enjoyed the high perches from which I could pounce on John from!

After the mosque, it was the synagogue. Again, I can't remember the name. And again, I enjoyed the wide open spaces of the church. Lots of light and high rafters. In fact, one of the high beams on the roof is supposed to be from Noah's Ark. Get me a mate and I'll go on the Ark, baby! Since that was a sinful thought, I had to spend some time with the Lord to atone for my sins.

After being forgiven, we moved on the a church. This was reported to be the one where Mary and Joseph took Jesus when they were hiding from King Herod. We weren't allowed pictures in the church, but trust me when I say it was spacious and open. Enough room for a bird to spread his wings!

We were allowed pictures in the kindergarten class, though. Our guide was approached by the teacher of the class, who saw us walking to the church. She said to bring in our group when we came back. So he did. The kids were great! Such happy, innocent faces. And the teacher was nice as well. In fact, she held me for a little bit. I think she wanted me to stay with her because she kept calling me "Benny". I would've loved to help her teach her children, but part of me wondered if I would be a teacher's aide or a teacher's meal?! I was somewhat thankful when John got me back. Something in her eyes made me wonder about her intentions ....

After the harrowing escape from the classroom, I was hungry. Apparently danger works up my appetite. Thankfully, it was time for lunch. We were going to eat at Felfella's, a local restaurant. John actually gave me food that was non-chicken: pita bread and falafel. It was delicious!

After Felfella's, it was off to the El Khaleili Bazaar, the largest bazaar in Cairo. Thankfully, John let me stay on the bus. From what I saw, I didn't want to deal with the insanity!

I found out later on that I could've gone with them, as they had the bodyguard from the bus give them a personal tour of the bazaar. Chickens have bodies, so they're worth guarding, right?

After the bazaar, we went back to the hotel. I spent the rest of the evening in the room while they went to a local family's home for dinner. I was glad I stayed in; this day was stressful! And knowing Egyptians like I do now, I'm sure they were eating chicken for dinner! At least I feel comfortable in my locked hotel room, where no one can come in and take me! Wait ... where are the room keys? I slept that night with one open, always watching the door.

Egypt - Day 3 - Monday, August 3rd

2009-08-25T21:54:00.013-05:00

I woke up STARVING!!! I could smell babaganoush on John's breath when I woke. That made me VERY hungry. John promised me breakfast and if I don't get it, I'll peck off his leg so he won't be able to walk around the pyramids!

We ate breakfast and John got to keep his leg.

Then we got to see the pyramids. John did his best to keep away the men selling stuff, but they were like little black flies that wouldn't go away! Thankfully he did get a picture of us at the pyramid.

Take my word for it: the pyramid goes up MUCH higher than in this picture! I wanted to fly up there, but John didn't trust me to come back. So he kept me with him at all times. Which I'm glad he did, because then I wouldn't have gotten to see the camels later on in the trip:

I wanted to ride one, but John said "no". There was a camel ride later in the trip. At least he let me hang out with Mr. S.

The rest of the morning was spent in a museum for an old boat and seeing the Sphinx. And he FINALLY got a good picture of me with an entire pyramid!

After touring the pyramids in the morning, we broke for lunch. Andrea's was the name of the restaurant that our guide said we would never forget for the rest of the trip. And boy, was he right! What a horrible place! They served chicken! They even were roasting them right out in open! Oh, the horror! I couldn't look, it was so horrific!

At least John let me eat inside. I had the pita bread and some water. I couldn't eat the chicken!

Of course, everyone else at the chicken in front of me. The BARBARIANS!!!! You don't see me eating people in front of you, do you? Well, do you? I swore that I would get even with John and his kind. After this trip, though. He at least feeds me. The Egyptians apparently love chicken ... AS A MEAL!!! I promised myself that I would be nicer to John as he is now my American bodyguard against the ravenous Egyptians!

Ok, after the massacre that was lunch, we took another excursion to some more pyramids. These were step pyramids at Saqqara, predecessors to the Great Pyramids. Not as frequently visited as the ones in Giza, but still impressive.

Of course, John found out that many of them were made by Ihmotep, so he had to make a video:

I'm so embarrassed for him! If he weren't my protector, I would leave right now! I'm sure I can catch a nice flight to India! They worship chickens over there, right?

After the Saqqara pyramid excursion, we stopped off at a rug shop. John was shown how to make a knot in a rug and I was allowed to watch nature from the bus. At least the dates looked yummy!

No one got me a date when they came back on the bus. I was a little peckish and wanting some dinner. Instead I got the room all to myself while they watched the light show at the Pyramids. Apparently I fell asleep before they got back because I didn't hear them come in. Tomorrow we get to see a mosque, a synagogue and an old church. Whichever religion doesn't eat chicken is the religion I'm converting to!

Egypt - Day 2 - Sunday, August 2nd

2009-08-23T21:11:00.005-05:00

I woke up and it was pitch black. What happened to the sun? Did we crash and I'm dead? Where is everyone? Oh, wait ... I'm still in John's bag. Mystery solved. I stayed in the bag all the way through breakfast (at least, I think it was breakfast, as I could smell coffee and poached eggs). Then my ears started popping as the plane descended to our landing. I heard the claps when we touched down on the tarmac. Then I heard people getting up from their seats to get their bags. A lot of jostling happened and then my bag was picked up. I hope John picked me up; otherwise, I'm going to have to learn Arabic very quickly!

I heard his voice as he mingled with the OAT travelers who were waiting for their bags. Mmmmm .... OAT. I'm HUNGRY!! When will I get fed? John couldn't hear me because I was still in the bag. I need out so I can stretch my wings. I tried tapping SOS on the bag with my beak; my distress call went unanswered.

The bag moved towards the outdoors. I knew it was outdoors because I could smell the dust. Ah, the glorious outdoors THAT I CAN'T SEE!!! LET ME OUT!!! But, alas, my cry for freedom was in vain. I was still bag-bound.

Everyone was quiet on the bus to the hotel. Either everyone was asleep or they were mesmerized by the beauty outside the bus THAT I COULDN'T SEE!!! BAWK!!!!! No one paid attention to me. They kept talking about camels and pyramids. John is SO DEAD when I get out of this bag.

The bus stopped and the bag moved again. I heard a number mentioned and an elevator (I heard bells, so I assumed it was an elevator). Then I heard the door unlock. It was our room. John put the the bag down and opened it. I'll get you ... ARRRGGHHH!!! DAYLIGHT!!!!! I'M BLIND!!!! Where's John? I'll get him!! OWWWW!!! WING CRAMP!!!!! As my eyesight and mobility came back, John and Mr. S unpacked, stretched out, and then took a nap. The nerve ...

Once I could see and move, I attacked John in bed. Well, at least I thought I did. But he and Mr. S were gone. Apparently they had left while I was regaining my vision. Well, fine. I'm hungry, so I'll order room service. Wait ... I can't dial a phone or talk. Maybe if I write my request ...

That didn't work. However, John came back from the welcome dinner and said everyone was looking forward to meeting me tomorrow. And that he would feed me breakfast. I suppose I'll let him live ... but it better be a good breakfast! Hopefully everyone else is nicer to me than he is! The day was so exhausting that I fell asleep. Tomorrow I get to see the pyramids!

Egypt - Day 1 - Saturday, August 1st

2009-08-23T20:36:00.007-05:00

Today we begin our journey half-way around the world to Egypt! I can't wait to ride a camel, see the Sphinx, and cruise the Nile. It should be a fantastic trip! But first we need to get there. What a fun first day of traveling this will be!

We woke up early Saturday. Well, I woke up a little earlier than I wanted to because I slept with one eye open the whole night. We slept at Ellen's, who has 5 cats! Thankfully John stowed me in the carry on bag, so I didn't have to worry about a stray cat.

Ellen did have all of her cats sequestered in the back rooms, so I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But I digress ...

After posing for pictures with Ellen and John, we left for the airport at 7 AM.

First stop: Kathy and Mr. Stephenson's house (we're going to call him Mr. S. from now on, as it is easier!) Mr. S.'s friend Dee loaded us all into his SUV and we headed to the airport. After dropping all of us off (except Kathy, who unfortunately could not go with us due to a last-second medical emergency that kept her home. We'll miss you!) we checked in. I got to ride through the X-ray machine (they really should clean the inside of them every once in a while!) and then we waited for our plane. I passed the time by trying to steal Mr. S's ticket. I was a whole seat to myself! Unfortunately, he thwarted my plans and I was back in John's bag before I could get it in my beak. Drat!

It was going to be a long day. We would fly from Moline to Chicago to NYC-Laguardia and then take a shuttle bus to NYC-JFK where we would then board EgyptAir to Cairo. I'm exhausted just saying it! I would've flown on my own to Cairo, but that's a long way. And there are no pit stops over the Atlantic Ocean. Instead, I had John stow me in his carry-on bag for the entire trip. He left me with cinnamon gum and cinnamon Twizzlers to eat. Good thing I like cinnamon!

According to John, there were no problems at the airports. O'Hare was busy. LaGuardia was where they picked up their checked bags (John helped a woman get her bag off the luggage carousel - no, wait. That was Ellen. At least, that's what she says. And I trust her over John.) The shuttle bus to JFK was uneventful. At least I got to get out and stretch my wings on the shuttle!

They got their tickets (we're in the middle seats on the plane ... I wanted a window seat!), went through security (this time, I was in the bag, so I was unsure how clean the X-ray machine was), and then waited for Egypt Air to board.

They ate dinner at an Irish pub by their gate - I slept in John's carry-on bag.
They finished dinner and boarded the plane - I slept in John's carry-on bag.

They put their bags in the overhead compartment and got to their seats - I slept in John's carry-on bag. Hey, there wasn't much else to do in the bag other than sleep. I woke up in time to hear the take off. Then I fell back to sleep ... in John's carry-on bag.

Summary of trip to Egypt

2009-08-22T00:50:00.009-05:00

Well, I almost immigrated to Egypt. I thought I would enjoy it over there, since it was warm and dusty and there was plenty of friendly people. However, I soon found out why to they were friendly to chickens: it was to lull them into a false sense of security before they fried, boiled, baked, or broiled them! And if the people didn't get me, then the crocodiles would! Boy, it was a rough country! Here are some pictures of the situations I had to get out of:

First, there was the kindergarten teacher. She was very sweet, but I'm sure she only wanted me so she could eat me at a later date:

Then there was the crocodile:

Thankfully, I had a falcon, a camel, and a baboon to take care of me:

I'll be sure to update you with all of the gory details! I had fun, but I think I had more adventures then the entire group combined! Stay tuned!

Ready for Egypt!

2009-07-31T08:19:00.005-05:00

Busta finally fed me. He gave me popcorn and Oreos. Granted, that was Tuesday. I'm HUNGRY!!

Is it time to go?

I'm ready. LET"S GO!!!!!

The Snapdragon Inn

2009-07-16T20:50:00.004-05:00

It's been a delightful experience here in Vermont hanging out with the Larson clan. You can find out more about what they are doing here.
Today I decided to lend a hand on the third floor of the inn. They are almost ready to refinish the floors and then move in some furniture. I had to read up a little bit first before I got started.
One more day in Vermont and then we hit the road home to Illinois. Should be landing sometime Sunday. Can't wait to return to the peace and tranquility of this beautiful New England town. So much to do, so little time.

Oh Mt. Ascutney

2009-07-15T13:58:00.004-05:00

The last two days I have been able to gaze at the beauty of Mt. Ascutney from two states. Yesterday, I visited the former home of Auguste St. Gaudens, who was best known for sculptures and his design of U.S. coinage in 1907. We tramped all over the gardens and took a minute to visit the site where the sculptor and his artsy friends would put on Greek revival type plays. Whatever floats your boat! It was beautiful weather on the large estate full of great gardens. I'm sure I could have found a cozy spot to settle in there somewhere, but there was more adventure to be had.
Today I sheparded 7 kids and one grown up on a picnic at Lake Runnemeade. We walked halfway around the lake and out to the gazebo in the middle. Once again I was able to enjoy the site of Mt. Ascutney, this time in Vermont, and relax by the water's side. Don't worry Sven, although I'm not dining with the likes of Paula Deen, I rather enjoyed my simple meal of sandwiches, chips, carrots and cookies. I'm not starving.
Tomorrow I hope to show you some of the work going on at the soon to be open Snapdragon Inn here in Windsor, Vermont. It's really coming along. Everyone is chipping in with painting, window repair, sanding and hanging light fixtures. We had to take a couple of days off to help with a new baby in the family, but now it's all business and full steam ahead. Until I get some pictures up, you can check out the action here.
Ta-ta for now!

Hangin' with some cute chickies in Chi-Town

2009-06-30T19:55:00.003-05:00

As some of you may know, I am heading for a little relaxation in the peaceful tranquility of Vermont next week.
So I figured I need to mix things up a bit with a trip to the city for an afternoon of shopping and chocolate. We had a lovely lunch at the American Girl Place. Although some of my dining companions insisted on ordering non-red meat dishes, it was still a lovely atmosphere. After lunch and some shopping, we flew over to the famous Chicago Water Tower for some pictures and then on to the Hershey's store. Wow! Is the smell in that place something else or what! The kids were nice enough to share a kiss or two with me. No, not that kind of kiss, silly readers, but the chocolate kind!
At the last minute, I tried desperately to hitch a ride with the Doubledecker Tours of Chicago. I just wasn't quite ready to leave Chicago. After all, we hadn't even had pizza, or a hot dog, or both! But alas, the chickies held me back and we made our way to the Metra for the trip home.

Next week, it's on to Vermont for a little preview of the Snapdragon Inn in Windsor. Stay tuned!

No trip to Miami for you, Benny!

2009-06-22T22:42:00.003-05:00

This is courtesy of my sister, Miss Julie Wells. You remember her, right, Benny? She's the one who took you to Australia.
--------------------------------------------------
Benny better not go to Miami.

When Chickens Go Bad

http://video.yahoo.com/watch/5061058?fr=yvmtf

Choo-Choo

2009-06-22T20:28:00.005-05:00

The last leg of our trip was spent in Chattanooga, Tennessee. What fun we had.

First we went to Ruby Falls. It is a natural waterfall, inside a cave, inside mountain! Crazy. I was a little skeptical about the whole thing, I am a little claustrophobic (everyone keeps me in their purses, backpacks, pockets, etc. Who wouldn't be claustrophobic?) but truth be known I really have no choice as to what happens to me on trips. So down in the belly of the mountain I went. Now the first thing that I noticed was it got A LOT cooler! It was about 60 degrees in the cave, and about 95 degrees outside. I'd take the cave any day. The second thing I noticed was that it was beautiful. I've never seen anything like it (not even Busta's apartment compares to this cave).

After Ruby Falls, Riza was feeling good, so we went to the Tennessee Aquarium. Again a great stop in TN! They had two separate sections, a river section, and an ocean section. We decided afterward that the river section was the best.

Underwater Benny

They had real gators too but this one was fine for me.

Proof that I am stuck in pockets

Hanging with my arctic cousin, Chilly.

I did say I was tired of being photographed with dead chickens but this is ridiculous.

Looking up at the sharks.

No, we did not miss having some great food again that night. We ate at Sticky Fingers, or in my case Sticky Feathers. Even the tables were sticky, but the food was great. I ate so fast they couldn't get a picture so I had to settle with a picture of our finished dessert.

I think by day 9 everyone was tired of camping so Sven splurged and got us a hotel room. AHHH clean sheets, and an air conditioner! What more could a chicken ask for?

Benny goes to Georgia

2009-06-17T20:01:00.005-05:00

This post should be called "Benny Eats His Weight in Southern Food" but we do some other things too believe it or not.

After our lunch at Paula's ( I still have guilt about that so let's not talk about it) we happened upon Uncle Bubba's Oyster House the next day. Here's a picture of me after eating at Uncle Bubba's... nuff said.

When my food coma finally wore off we went to the beach. I had never seen the Atlantic Ocean so I was really excited. Once I was close to the Pacific but someone chose not to go, so I can't really say I've been there...

Chris was surprised to find Santa sunning himself on the beach that day. He was kind enough to let us take a picture. Now we all know what he does on his "off time". I told him I wanted a passport for Christmas so I wouldn't have to ride in the luggage anymore. He said he would see what he could do but since I am a chicken and all the rules may be a little fuzzy, we'll see come Christmas morning.

I got a little sun bathing in myself, although it was pointless with the SPF 85 Riza slathered all over me. I was worried she was just buttering me up after all the chicken we had a Paula's but she assured me she would not eat a chicken that had been out of the country.

After we left Savannah, we headed to Stone Mountain. It was beautiful there. We got to see, of course, the Stone Mountain, and a granite quarry. The campground was great I played checkers with the kids, and swam in the pool. No pictures of the pool, you do not want to see this in a speedo!
What's this guy looking at anyway?

Tonight we are still in Georgia, but right on the border of Tennessee, so we went into Chattanooga for BBQ at Sugar's Ribs. I don't know why everyone thinks it's so funny to take pictures of me with cooking chicken, it's a little unsettling, as well as rude. I would never find a cannibal colony in Africa and take picture of Sven smiling next to them, it's just not right. The food was delish anyway. We are going to Ruby Falls tomorrow, hopefully hundreds of feet under the earth it will be cooler.

I Hear Paula's Already Married... Bummer

2009-06-13T18:46:00.004-05:00

We are finally settled for a few days in Savannah Georgia. It was a very long ride yesterday to get here.

Today we went into Old Savannah and took a trolley ride. It was hot and steamy but everyone survived OK. We all had our Georgia air conditioners (aka paper fans) that were supplied free by the trolley company.

The highlight of the day was eating at The Lady and Son's restaurant in down town. I had heard rumors of the good food and atmosphere, but was very nervous because fried chicken was the main entree on the buffet. The food was to-die-for! Literally!!! I couldn't help myself and before I knew it had eaten a whole piece of *GULP* fried CHICKEN. Does that make me a bad person?

Super Benny Day 1

2009-06-11T20:57:00.005-05:00

Well I hitched a ride with Sven and Riza and kiddos to Metropolis, IL. As most of you know Sven is a HUGE Superman fan and they were going to check out the Superman Festival. Sven's brother Wes happened to hitch a ride too. I have to say he did a pretty good job keeping the kids in line, that mostly consisted of feeding them multiple snacks, and watching hours of DVD's. The ride was long but not too bad only about 4 hours. We had a little wiring problem on the way down, the lights on their trailer stopped working due to a minor meltdown. Of course thanks to me everything is back working now (seriously I don't know how they traveled without me before).

Sven and Riza actually fed me this trip, no one else does. We had a wonderful picnic lunch at Ft. Massic Park. After some bad directions from Talulah (the GPS navigator) it took us a little longer to find our camp site then we planned, but never fear Benny saved the day. I flew ahead and scouted around until I spotted it. Then it was back to Metropolis for the Festival. We saw a huge Superman statue, and got to look through the Museum. There were lots of vendors and yummy food to eat.

After the Festival we headed back to Kentucky and had a really good dinner out, at O'Charlies, I even had them take a picture to prove that they take better care of me.

Here's some pictures, we'll post more when we can.

Yosemite - Thursday, April 23rd through Saturday, April 25th

2009-06-07T19:54:00.000-05:00

Thursday, April 23rd

I woke up and starting squawking for help because there was a strange man in the room! He was buff, balding, and didn’t look like anyone I had ever met. John and Julie calmed me down by telling me it was their brother, Scott. Apparently, he arrived around midnight. I wouldn’t know; I was sound asleep. He looked like he would snap my neck with one twist of his hands, so I kept my eye on him. It’s always the newcomer that you have to watch out for. The morning was spent showing Scott the sights of Yosemite. We walked through Yosemite village, stopping at the museums and stores along the way. It was very leisurely. There weren’t a whole lot of people in the park, so it was kind of nice not having to squeeze my way through the throngs. It was nothing like the Grand Canyon – that place was packed! After a leisurely time in the village, we all headed back to our room for lunch. Oh, sure … Scott gets lunch, but again I get nothing! I tried to make a mad dash for the door, but John stuffed me in his pocket. As much as I struggled, I couldn’t break through of pocket-jail. I was captured and could do nothing about it. At least he let me see where we were going. After watching them eat lunch and fill up their water bottles, I found out we were going on a hike. Up to the top of a waterfall. How crazy is that? But we boarded the shuttle to the stop for the Vernal Falls trail. And what a fun trail it was! Thankfully, I didn’t have to do the walking, because it was all up hill. John kept up with his brother and sister to about the footbridge at the bottom of the waterfall. Hey, didn’t Julie take a picture of us at that spot? Where’s the picture? (Note from John: I’ll add it later. Don’t get your feathers ruffled!). It was after this spot that the strength and overall health took over for Julie and Scott. John tried his best to stay with them, but once he got to the rocky steps beside the waterfall, all misty and wet and cold and steep, he lost track of his siblings. I thought for sure he was going to give up, but he persevered onward, even though he was one false step towards certain death. It was kind of exhilarating, knowing that we could be dead (either by drowning or a broken neck, it a matter of moments. But soon we were at the top of the waterfall. We rounded a crest of the trail and there it was: the river rushed over the edge, creating the Vernal Waterfall. And there were Scott and Julie, standing up and ready to return. John promptly told them to sit down and chill out while he enjoyed the view. He even had me enjoy the view looking down from the waterfall. Dangling over the fence that separated the drop from him, I was tempted to peck his hand and then fly off into the horizon. But wasn’t sure if the mist would throw off my aerodynamics and instead plunge me into the pool down below, so I refrained. But my poultry instincts almost kicked in. After a time of chilling out at the top of the waterfall, we headed back down the trail. Talk about a test of courage! Before, we were walking up the waterfall, not knowing how far down it was. Now we were walking down it, see the depth and magnitude of it unfold before our eyes. Again, I was glad I wasn’t walking. I had a nice view, though. Once the trio made it to the shuttle, they headed to the pizzeria for dinner. Again, nothing. I think I saw a Sierra Club member at the next table; before I could alert him to the horrid conditions they were putting me in, we left. Tomorrow was the last day in Yosemite, so they had planned on getting up early. Me, I was going to plot their impending doom. Or sleep. Whichever comes first.

Friday, April 24th

Today is our last day in Yosemite. The plan is to do some sightseeing in the morning, return the rental car to the Fresno airport, and then have Scott drive us to Reno, where we will stay the night and fly from tomorrow morning. Got that? Good. And away we go. First stop: Yosemite Falls. The day was much cooler than the rest of the week by about 20 degrees. I was starting to chicken bumps, it was so chilly. Did they offer me a scarf or a cloth to keep warm? Of course not! They proceeded to put on their sweatshirts and then headed down the trail. At least I was somewhat warm in John’s pant’s pocket. As disgusting as that sounds, it wasn’t too bad. And I didn’t get wet from all of the spray that was soaking the rest of them. We did our loop and then headed out towards the park’s entrance/exit. They stopped at another waterfall (Bridalveil Falls) for a quick pic in the rain, and then went up the road. Another stop for a picture with the Yosemite Valley behind them (how many pictures do they need? And was I in any of them? Of course not), and then they headed to the Grant Grove of Sequoia Trees. I had already seen them, so I stayed in the car while John and Julie showed Scott around. Apparently, he had never seen the trees before! They headed back into their cars (me with Scott, Julie with the rental) and then headed to Fresno. Julie returned the car, Scott picked her up, and then we began the long trek towards Reno. First, we had to go through the valley. Fields as far as the eye could. If only I could get out and see what kind of food I could eat … But no, we were on a mission to get to Reno before sundown. Apparently, Scott didn’t want to be driving in the mountains at dark. Up through Donner Pass (where I prayed there wasn’t a lost party of gold prospectors) and then down towards Reno. It was getting towards dusk, so all of the casinos were lit up and blinking their names. Personally, I was exhausted from this trip out west and was ready to go home. Show me to my bed and I’ll hit the hay. Scott pulled into his driveway, introduced us to his sick roommate John (hopefully he doesn’t want any fresh chicken noodle soup) and then we went to sleep. We had to be up bright and early the next morning to get to the airport and check in. I slept peacefully, knowing that a great meal was awaiting me when I got home (hopefully at the Clarks – they feed me well!)

Saturday, April 25th

Well, our vacation is finally over. We’re almost in Bloomington, and what an exciting day it was! First, we woke up and got us some breakfast. Rather, the “humans” did. Again, nothing for me. We move so much that I’m having a difficult time finding a local PETA chapter. But once we get to Bloomington, I’m lodging a complaint for inhumane treatment of me! They finished their dinner, the brother dropped off John and Julie at the airport, we made it through security in Reno, and boarded our plane to Denver. No snow here today; just sunny skies and a 2 hour layover. Time to chill out and relax before we go home to Peoria. Then we boarded the plane to Peoria, of which I got my own seat! Finally! Some respect! Of course, Julie got me in trouble with the stewardess, so I had to be on my best behavior. When we landed in Peoria, the stewardess bid me farewell. I thanked her for a lovely trip. Better be on her good side; you never know when she’ll be my stewardess again! We gathered up our gear, got into the car, and almost made it home when John had a “Home Alone” moment! “Oh my God! I left my camera on the plane!” Julie turned around to go back to the airport, got a speeding ticket en route, and dropped John off at the terminal. He came back 15 minutes later without a camera. Apparently, no one turned it in. I sort of feel sorry for him. All of those pictures (some of them of me) gone; all he has is his memory, which is sketchy at best. At least Julie took some pictures. Which I’m SURE John will post soon. Right, John? Right? Anyway, the trip out West was amazing and fun and hot and cold and strenuous and wet and breathtaking and steep and exhilarating and exhausting and necessary. I love getting back to nature; being stuck in an apartment all day really makes me appreciate the great outdoors. I can’t wait for next trip. Hopefully I don’t make it into any of Paula Deen’s recipes!

Yosemite (April 20th PM thru April 22nd)

2009-06-07T15:16:00.002-05:00

Monday, April 20th (PM)

After leaving the brilliant, forested haven of Sequoia N.P., we drove back to Fresno to replenish supplies. John and Julie of course didn’t get me anything to eat, but they did load up on bottled water. Would they actually offer me a drink? Apparently not. And let me tell, the weather was unbearable. It had to be 100 degrees in Fresno! (Note from John: It was 95, actually. But Benny’s a chicken, so he can’t read numbers.) The sun was still out and I was getting strange looks from people at the deli counter. I think it’s time we leave this store and head towards Yosemite, OK? Right guys? Hurry … the guy at the counter has a knife! We left the store quickly and got into our rental (I heard them call it a Hyundai Sonata … Sure, they give their cars last names, but I’m only known as “Benny”! Where’s that PETA number again?) Soon we were headed a different direction (I think it was north) and was going towards a different set of mountains. Again, the scenery looked very similar as before – large valley with sweeping vistas, orange groves, and desert landscape. Then we approached the mountain towns before Yosemite. Of course, I was getting hungry, but did we stop? No. I tried pecking through the window, but it was solid glass. I’ll have to practice my pecking skills to get through that! By the time I had planned my escape route, they had packed me back in a bag and zipped it shut. Crap! Now how am I going to get out? Well, apparently it will be when we get to the first scenic overview in Yosemite. It was absolutely awesome! Stretched out before us was the Yosemite Valley, with the Sentinel Rock on the left, Half Dome In the middle, and Bridalveil Falls on the right. I wanted to fly to the falls and cool off, but John held me down while Julie took my picture. He’s quite the manhandler, that one is. Before I could show him who was boss, though, we got back in the car and headed to our hotel for the night. I’m not sure what John and Julie did, but they left me in the room and went out. I was too tired to trash the room, so I rested my eyes and waited for them to come back. I never did hear them enter. I think they went to get some food and do a little bit of sightseeing? Anyway, I fell asleep early and woke up the next day with the birds.

Tuesday, April 21st

Well, today was a glorious day. John and Julie took me out for a morning stroll in the meadows near their lodge. It was a nice open meadow with an awesome view of Yosemite Falls (Upper and Lower). We rode the shuttle around to get a feel of the park. We rode it all the way back to our lodge. Then we loaded up food and water and headed towards Hetch Hetchy Reservoir. Apparently, it’s pretty back country where no one goes. Except for us. We drove on the backroads to get there. I think I saw a California Condor, but we didn’t stop, so I’m not sure. When we got to the lake, there was a dam that we had to cross. Of course, they had lunch. Then John put me in his pocket so I could see the view and we headed off towards Wapama Falls. It was a nice day – sun was shining, a slight breeze, probably 70 degrees. John had trouble keeping up with Julie, but he somehow managed to keep within sight of her. About half way to the falls, we came across another falls. Julie played in the water and John took a picture of me lounging on a rock. It felt good to rest. Where’s that picture at, John? Oh, that’s right – you lost your camera. Too bad. (Note from John: Benny, that’s not funny. I hope you got a good price for it when you sold it!) Anyway, we trekked on and ended up at the waterfall. It was misty and cold and refreshing and awesome. I played in it for a little while, and then John and Julie figured it was time to head back. I was sad, but I understand it was just a short little jaunt. Once we made it back to the park, John and Julie took me to dinner. They had pizza, and again I had nothing. I’m beginning to think this isn’t a trip, but a fat camp in disguise! I’m not FAT! FEED ME!! But my cries went unheard. As we headed back to camp, dusk set in and the night sounds started taking over. The waterfall was a steady roar, the birds were chirping, and the car alarms were going off? Turn off your alarm, stupid! We went back to the room, Julie booked a whitewater rafting trip for her and John (I declined … I didn’t want to get my feathers wet) and then we went to bed. All in all, a very eventful day.

Wednesday, April 22nd

John and Julie went white water rafting. I did not. They came back and we went to sleep. (Note from John: Benny is upset because he didn’t get to do anything on this day. Is it my fault that he didn’t want to go rafting with us? Anyway, he’s cranky because of this. Hopefully his mood is better tomorrow, as my brother has just showed up – at midnight! – and we’re hiking a lot tomorrow!)

Frantic phonecall

2009-06-06T22:17:00.004-05:00

The following is a transcript of a phonecall received on June 6, 2009, at 10 p.m.
Kathy: Hello?
Benny: Hey there, gorgeous swan! This is Benny.
Kathy: Uh, hi there, Benny. What's up?
Benny: Well, not much. Just the sky.
Kathy: You sound like John, Benny.
Benny: Do NOT compare me to that lazy beast! I am nothing like him! I would have already finished posting the California trip. I would have already put up the pictures.
Kathy: I'm sorry, Benny. I didn't mean to insult you.
Benny: (feathers deruffling) Oh, I can never stay angry with you for long, you delectable oriole!
Kathy: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) O-k then. What can I do for you anyway?
Benny: Actually, I was calling you about J- I mean, he who will not be named. I've been trying to get him to finish the trip story, but nothing is working. I've tried bribery, cajoling (yes, cajoling!), and threats. None of my efforts has been successful.
Kathy: What do you expect me to do? You know he never listens to me. Even during a phone conversation, he only 1/2 listens.
Benny: Can't you do something??? I'm desperate here!
Kathy: Have you tried asking Sven/Chris? He sees J- at work, maybe he can beat him into submission, chain him to his keyboard, or something.
Benny: That wouldn't work. He'd just log into Facebook and play WordTwist all night.
Kathy: True. Well, I won't be down there for a couple weeks, so there's not much I can do.
Benny: I guess that leaves me only one option.
Kathy: What's that?
Benny: I'll have to call in the Big Canary to lean on him a little.
Kathy: The Big Canary? What's he, the head of organized bird-dom?
Benny: Yes. I'm sure you know him. He hangs out on the street quite a lot.
Kathy: Um, would that be Sesame Street?
Benny: Why, yes! One lean from the Big Canary, and J- will never question my authority over him again!
Kathy: Benny,
Benny: Yes, my little pigeon of delight?
Kathy: You scare me!
--------------------------------
John, I'm asking you as a friend- PLEASE FINISH THE CALIFORNIA TRIP SO I DON'T GET ANOTHER CALL FROM BENNY! HE SCARES ME!

Benny cracks the whip!

2009-06-06T21:55:00.002-05:00

Benny: John!
John: (wakes ups from catnap) Whaa???
Benny: Didn't we go to Yosemite, too?
John: What?
Benny: You've only finished half of our trip to California!
John: So?
Benny: So, you better finish it, or I'll claw your eyes out and peck a cross into your tongue.
John: That sounds painful.
Benny: TYPE!!!
John: All right, all right. Let me wake up first.
Benny: NO SLEEP FOR YOU!!!!

Pre-trip and Sequoia (April 17th – April 20th AM)

2009-06-04T21:45:00.006-05:00

Friday, April 17th,2009

Today John and Julie were up before the birds (aka – me). John looked like death with a hangover; it was not attractive. Thankfully Julie was driving to Peoria, because I’m sure I would’ve ended up in a ditch somewhere. And it may have been near Springfield, for all I know! He was looking really out of it, I tell you. Anyway, from what I gathered, the plan for today was Bloomington to Peoria to Minneapolis to Denver to Fresno to Sequoia N.P. All before dinner time! Thankfully they were able to smuggle me onto the planes, because I don’t think that my little wings would be able to fly that long. So I’ll be “flying” a different style.

We made it to Minneapolis without a hitch. However, the tram between terminals was down, so John and Julie had to walk the length of about 2 football fields to get to their next gate. Again, I just hitched a ride in one of their bags. Did I mention how accommodating they were? Well, outside of feeling claustrophobic and having to stare at John’s underwear for the entire trip, I was fine. (That’ll be an interesting therapy session for me!) When we got to Minneapolis, we were a little concerned about our flight to Denver, as they were expecting a snowstorm. In April. I’m so glad I live in the Midwest, where it only rains in the spring. Granted, I need an ark to get around town, but still. (I wonder who my “mate” for the 2-by-2 parade will be for that day? Maybe ? I can only hope!) I digress. We boarded our plane to Denver and headed out. No word on whether we would be snowed in at Denver International Airport. I hope not … Stranded people equal hungry people, and they usually go after the animals for food. Time to make myself small! We landed in Denver during a torrential downpour. That’s right – downpour. Not blizzard, like we were all expecting. But buckets of rain. Too bad I didn’t have my travel ark … I could’ve rowed us to California! But we landed in the rain and waited for the other (snow) shoe to drop. John was doing the rain dance at the gate; that, or he really had to pee. I never can tell with him. Finally, the announcement came: we were LEAVING!!! Good-bye, rainy Denver. Hello, sunny California! And, boy, was it sunny. And HOT! It was 90 degrees when we landed. I molted half my feathers when I got off the plane. I also saw a guy with a white, pointy beard and a cane giving me a strange look. I made myself even smaller, as I had heard stories of “The Colonel”. He was a very bad man in the poultry community. Thankfully, John and Julie were getting a rental car so we could elude “The Man”. And then we headed out into the country, towards the mountains. Past vineyards and orange groves and almond trees. Irrigation ditches and sweeping vistas stretched for miles towards the mountains. And then we had to go up them. And up them. I didn’t look out the window, for fear that I would get vertigo and throw up. Julie was an excellent driver, but the twisty, steep roads … with NO GUARDRAILS!!! … were a bit unnerving. And then we hit the levels with the wildflowers. All sorts of colors: purple lupines, white flowers, orange flowers, blue flowers, yellow flowers (I could only distinguish the lupines). Mountainsides were a kaleidoscope of colors. And then we left that region and came to the zone where snow mingled among the rocks and trees. This would be the level we would stay in. Thankfully, it wasn’t too cold. Probably around 60. I can handle this for the entire trip.

Then we entered Sequoia National Park, our home for the next 3 days. We took a wrong turn and missed our lodge. It was probably a good thing, because then we got to see the sequoias. Very red wood, glimmering in the late afternoon sun. I would’ve loved to stay at fly amongst the giants, but Juile and John were getting cranky because they hadn’t found their lodge. Oh, and they were hungry. Must find food .. otherwise, they’ll eat me. Turn the car around! They did, and went back towards the entrance and tried the other road. This one led them to their lodge and a restaurant and a general store and a visitor center. Basically, everything they needed. Crisis averted! They checked in, ate dinner, unloaded their luggage in their room, and promptly fell asleep. Talk about a hectic day! And I basically hitched a ride for the entire day!

Saturday, April 18th 2009

Today, John and Julie decided to go exploring some of the park. They started out their day by getting a few items in the store (Pepsi for John, water for Julie, nothing for me!) and then headed towards Hume Lake. What an awesome drive it was! Still scary, because it was basically a one-lane road heading towards the lake. But on our left was the Sierra Nevada mountain range. How imposing and majestic it was! All snowcapped peaks and rocky outcropping. And it’s basically a giant wall. How the settlers got through it, I’ll never know! I could fly over it and settle anywhere I wanted, but I’m a bird, and humans are humans. That’s my wisdom for today. Again, I digress. We wound our way down the road to Hume Lake, a little village right on the lake. There was a convention going on while we there, but we were able to take a hike around the lake. We saw waterfalls and mountains in the distance and a dam and John took a picture of me on the shore. Where’s the picture, John? (from John – Benny, don’t make me hurt you! You know what happened to my camera; you’re probably the one who took it! Bad Bird!) That took the morning to do, so we headed back up to the giant grove of sequoias we had seen on the way down. We stopped at one trailhead, where John and Julie had lunch. (None for me – Apparently I’m on a diet? Although I’m never hungry; I’m always stuffed. I haven’t figured out how that works?) Once they were done with lunch, they hiked the trail. Which wound down, and down, and down, through snowbanks galore. Eventually, Julie suggested they turn around. They went off the trail, took a picture in a meadow (with bear “scat”) and then headed up the trail. I was with John, who is so slow he makes a turtle like a speed racer. I tried pecking at his butt to get him to move, but was in his own world and nothing would get him to move faster. He’s very stubborn, that one. Once they got back to the car, they headed to the Grant Grove of big trees and wandered around with Ruth the Ranger. She was from Mexico and kept calling me a “loco pollo”. I think that means sacred bird? Anyway, she explained where the sequoias come from (little seeds that look like birdseed, but don’t take anything like it – I tried) and why some trees have names (apparently, the first ranger was bored and would name the trees). It was very informational, even if her accent was thick. When they were done with that trip, they had dinner and then went back to the lodge. I played some Scrabble with John and I also beat him at Connect Four. He’s not the smartest bulb in the box! Then they went to bed. I don’t even think the sun had set yet. They really are getting their workout!

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Today John and Julie woke up and did the same thing they did as yesterday, but with a different destination. They went to the store, where John bought a Pepsi, Julie bought some water, and I bought nothing because they didn’t give me any money. Then they went to the other portion of the park. Here, they wandered through a big meadow of sequoias, where I had my own sit-in! I will not continue on until you feed me! Of course, they picked me and didn’t feed me. I’m calling PETA! Then they went to Beetle Rock and had lunch. I got to watch them eat it. PETA!!! Then they walked to Moro Rock. It was really high up there and really steep. But the view was phenomenal! I wanted to fly away from the enslaving humans, but they stopped me before I could soar away. Soon I’ll be on my own. Soon. After the Moro Rock hike, they went looking for a restaurant to eat at. And they couldn’t find one! Karma is your friend. Eventually they went back to the restaurant by their lodge. They weren’t keen on it (food was dry, service was horrible, etc.), but at least they got to eat. What have I had this trip? A sequoia seed that tasted horrible! Feed the chicken! Of course, they didn’t hear me and instead started out on a hike to Panorama Point. It was 8:00 before they got back (they didn’t take me … apparently, I’m not allowed to see any more breathtaking views). Apparently, the sign was wrong, because they were nowhere near the point when they turned around. We’ll try it in the morning, Julie said to John. John rolled his eyes. I knew he didn’t want to do it, but I also knew that Juile is a taskmaster and will make John do anything she wants to do. She was a drill sergeant at one, I heard. Note to self: Get on Julie’s good side by making John look bad. I went to sleep, dreaming up a plan to get food.

Monday, April 20th, 2009 (AM)

John and Julie were up early the next day. Not as early as the birds, who I had asked nicely to chirp as loudly as they could outside their window at 4 AM. Apparently, John’s a heavy sleeper. Bummer! Must come up with another plan to make John look bad. They headed out for Panorama Point before they headed out of the park for Yosemite. I got to with them this time – woohoo! It was a steep climb, with lots of curves. The last part of the road was snow-covered, so I felt like a penguin in those parts. Eventually, John made it up (Julie was a speck in the distance by the time we made it up there). The view was worth it, though, because we got an uninterrupted view of the Sierra Nevada. And we had the place all to ourselves. It was very peaceful, if not a little cold because of the snow. But the snow was what was keeping the people away. It was kind of creepy, though, hearing all of the snow melt overnight. I need an inflatable ark. Now. Julie and John headed back to room, loaded up their gear, and headed down the mountain to Fresno and Yosemite. I enjoyed Sequoia because it was quiet. Everything made me feel so small. If only I could fly up to the top of the trees for a view unparalleled on the ground. But alas, my wing strength isn’t what it used to be. I’ll have to see how the view are in Yosemite; maybe I’ll be able to fly to Half Dome? Only time will tell!

Sequoia/Yosemite April 2009 - The Teaser

2009-06-04T21:00:00.002-05:00

We begin our journey with a man, a woman, and a bird. We’ll call them John, Julie and Benny. The time: 3:45 AM. The mission: get to the Peoria Airport by 5 AM. The destination: California. Would they make it? What obstacles would be in their way? What adventures would they get in between Bloomington and Peoria? Would they be cold or hot when they got to California? Stay tuned to find out.

Benny: Umm, John. What was that?
John: It was a “prologue”. Look it up. Or maybe a “teaser”. I’m not sure which one.
Benny: Well, whatever it was, it sucked.
John: But, umm, well …
Benny: Just tell the story of our trip, would you? Before I peck your eyes out.
John: Aye, aye, Cap’n Benny!
Benny: (stares down John with scary red eyes)

Finally Someone Cares Enough To Update About Me!!

2009-05-31T17:14:00.004-05:00

As most of you know I've been on several adventures lately, none of which have been blogged about... hint, hint. I took delegating it to The Queen Bee to get things done around here.

My latest trip was with the Clark's on their Memorial Day Camping Extravaganza! When I say extravaganza I mean extravaganza! Just picture 10 adults camping with 21 children, can you say outnumbered? Thank goodness I was there to help, I don't know what they would have done without me. The food was unbelievable, I think they could have survived for a year with all the goodies that everyone brought.

First I helped with the packing. You would have thought they were going away for the summer with as much stuff as they had. To tell you the truth they could have done with a few more things, I think one of the children ran out of underwear on day one! Then there was the incident at the lake when their son fell in. I just about laughed my butt off when it happened, but he's OK so they are laughing about it now too.

I was never more glad to be a chicken as on this trip, everyone else got eaten alive by mosquito's, they were using Off like it was going out of style. Having feathers does sometimes prove to be a good thing.

Above: is a picture of me with the smaller 2 kiddos, I think they were trying to do the chicken dance which gets old after the 100th time. People think just because you are a chicken you automatically love doing the chicken dance, not so.

Above: Sure she looks all cute and innocent but seriously I thought she was gonna toss me in the fire. You have to watch out for that one.Above: I thought I was the boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They never would tell me what was in the pots...

All in all we had a great time. I think that I'll stick with the Clark's a while. I hear rumors of heading to Georgia in a few days and would love to get me some Crab Cakes at the Lady and Son's. Although I hear she is famous for her GULP... Fried Chicken (shudder).

People are so great! They love me!

2009-05-21T16:52:00.003-05:00

As I was flying down the road I spotted this and just had to take a picture.

Saturday

2009-03-15T22:25:00.002-05:00

Thanks so much for dinner, Chris and Syndy. It was great seeing you and the kids again. Hope to see you next time I'm in town. Kathy

Aloha Hawaii

2009-02-15T15:55:00.002-06:00

Here's our final view of Hawaii. I'm so glad I get to ride inside the plane. I don't think I could flap for 10 hours straight! It was a wonderful trip. I just wish I hadn't heard that Chicago is having record lows right now. It was 85 in Honolulu when we left. It will be -40 in Chicago when we land. OUCH!

Hawaii- the last day.

2009-02-15T15:35:00.003-06:00

Well, it's the final day of the trip. This is Mr. and Mrs. Ima Pigeon. They were a lovely couple, although a bit flightly at times. They had this strange aversion to being photographed with me, but were more than happy to pose by themselves.

As you can see, I took part in a time-share presentation. I'm considering purchasing this picturesque roost so I can have my own little place on Waikiki.

Hawaii Day 2 part 3

2009-02-07T22:29:00.003-06:00

Here I am at the luau at Paradise Cove. The food and drinks were delicious, and the entertainment was awesome! Sadly, I couldn't get any of the hula honeys to pose with me. I think they were just playing hard to get!!

Hawaii- Day 2 part 2

2009-02-07T16:31:00.003-06:00

I tried to pick up a beach babe, but to no avail.

Mmmm, frozen pineapple and raspberry slushies. Love them!

Here I am playing on Waikiki Beach. It was 85+ degrees that day, but the water was really cold, so I just played in the sand.

Hawaii Day 2

2009-02-07T09:30:00.004-06:00

Ahhhh. I feel so refreshed after a good night's sleep. I must admit I was rather tired after the long flight. Now I'm ready for the wedding festivities at Paradise Cove. Anna, why are you looking at me like that? What do you mean I'm not invited to the wedding?! I thought I was giving the bride away! You mean she chose her father over ME?! I'm hurt! Well, can I at least go to the wedding? I might run into some of my tropical cousins in the trees. I can't? How about the luau? I can? YES! Grass skirts, hula girls, frozen drinks, and roasted pork here I come!
So, after spending the afternoon sitting on the lanai and enjoying the gorgeous scenery, Anna and her family returned from the wedding. They all looked beautiful, especially the blushing bride. Anna had a surprise for me too. As the luau didn't take place until tonight, we were going to spend the rest of the afternoon on Waikiki Beach.

Benny in Australia with Julie - pictures only

2009-02-02T00:10:00.003-06:00

OK, Benny. Here's the deal: I uploaded all of my sister's pictures of you (with and without her) to a photobucket. She said she would be able to dictate your trip Down Under, so I'm going to defer to her wishes. She is, after all, the one with military experience. But I did want everyone to see how much fun you were having!

http://s727.photobucket.com/albums/ww275/trolly1/Benny%20in%20Australia%20with%20Julie/

She's hoping to come back in mid-March, so if you can wait that long, I'm sure she would appreciate it. OK? Good. Thanks a bunch, Benny. I knew you were a good egg.

Hawaii Trip- Day 1

2009-02-01T16:24:00.002-06:00

Friday, January 9, 2009. The place: Kathy's car. The time: 4:15 p.m. We begin our trip West by driving... East?! Ahh, apparently this is some new geography thing. We head the opposite direction to get to our destination. Wait a minute. Why are we stopping in Sterling at a Farm and Fleet? Are you buying me chicken feed? What do you mean your dad needs shoes, Anna?! No one consulted ME on this little side excursion. This trip is getting weird already! After wandering around Sterling and figuring out that you need to type in an address in the Tom-Tom, not just a city, we were on our way to Bartlett, Illinois. Not quite the exotic, Hawaiian destination I was expecting, but at least we got to see a slide presentation of Vietnam. I skillfully avoided being plucked and boiled by Mrs. Pham and went to bed dreaming alternately of sandy beaches and small, Asian mommies chasing me with a cleaver! Will this trip ever begin?!

Pre-trip Blues

2009-01-29T21:23:00.002-06:00

My trip began rather uneventfully. Busta packed me in his bag- a little too unceremoniously for my taste! Then there was the long car ride from Bloomington to Moline. Boy, that Busta sure can't sing! Finally, we arrived at Anna's abode. Hurrah! I'm ready to fly! Wait a minute. Why don't I see any suitcases? What do you mean, the trip doesn't start for another week? What am I supposed to do in Moline for a whole week? Look at your Christmas tree?! Oh sure. Take down the tree now. For Pete's sake, this is not what I had in mind. I'll just sit here next to the telephone and wait for my life to call. Um, Anna, could I please NOT sit here by myself all week? Your cat looks like he enjoys chicken a little too much for my comfort. Ahhh. After 3 days of staring down the cat, I was allowed to migrate to Anna's bedroom. Wow! There's a lot of stuff in here! I think I'll spend the rest of the week exploring Anna's room. Better use a ball of twine so I don't get lost on my trek.

Hawaii 2009

2009-01-28T21:38:00.006-06:00

Ok, so apparently John isn't going to write up my trip to Australia any time soon. Therefore, I have decided to employ a more reliable author to record my highly interesting anecdotes on my Hawaiian adventure. Anna, prepare to receive dictation!

Trip to the West - final post

2009-01-11T14:31:00.002-06:00

Benny - Busta, I think you left some things out of the final post from the trip out West.
Busta - I did? Like what?
Benny - Like how you almost killed us going down the mountain to Denver.
Busta - Hey, it was a steep mountain! And it was raining!
Benny - You also left out the part where Anna didn't talk to you for 2 weeks after the vacation.
Busta - I didn't talk to her, either. It was a mutual disagreement.
Benny - You said something not so nice to her.
Busta - I apologized. Half-heartedly.
Benny - Still ...
Busta - Zip the lip, rooster! Or I won't take you anywhere else!
Benny - I'm not scared of you! I have Anna on my side.
Busta - What's she going to do?
Benny - "Ve haf vays"
Busta - Oh, I forgot. She's Fraulein Commandant. Carry on.
Benny - I thought you would see things my way. Now, when are you going to write about Australia/Afghanistan for me?
Busta - Soon.
Benny - How about now?
Busta - I said soon.
Benny - Now is soon enough. TYPE!!!!!
Busta - Yes, Mein Commandant. Heil Benny!

Trip to the West - July 16th thru July 19th

2009-01-11T14:12:00.005-06:00

Days 12 thru 15 - It was a great night of sleeping last night. I was able to dodge the paparazzi and Balanced Rock didn't crush our tent. All is right in the world! Now, if they would only let me go West to visit Cal, that would be great. But, no! Wanda wants to go to Hovenweep, so Anna and Busta rearranged the itinerary to accomodate her. Did they do that for me? NO!!! Of course not! Why did I come on this vacation anyway? All they do is take pictures of me. They never let me wander on my own and see the great outdoors! The next time I come out West, I'm going to the Pacific Ocean. Without them!

What? We're back from Hovenweep already? But I didn't see anything! What kind of tour guides are you, anyway? Wait a minute? Who's that? Moab? Are you a raven or a crow? Oh, who cares? Let's play cards and ignore them.

I'm not sure who won the game. Before we could finish the game, we were taken away and put in the tent for bedtime. Moab and I had a lengthy discussion on how to escape, but before the plan could be put into action, we fell asleep.

The next day we were packed away and put into the car. Apparently, our trip is over and we're heading east. Again, I tried to fly WEST, but the windows were rolled up and locked. (Note to self: learn how to unlock windows.) I was kind of sad we were going home because I knew what that meant: long boring days at Busta's place while he went to work. Since I haven't figured out how to work the TV (another note to self: figure out remote and channel number for The Discover Channel). And despite not seeing Cal, I did get to see lots of interesting things: The Grand Canyon, a dinosaur, Moab. But we trekked our way through the mountains and into the plains. We stopped at Lincoln, NE for the evening, and for the first time, I felt right at home. I could smell the fresh country air. Soon we'd be to Iowa and then Illinois.

The next day we were in the Quad Cities by 3 PM. We dropped off Wanda and Moab and then stayed the night at Anna's. Not much was going on, so we fell right asleep.

We decided to leave Anna's the next day and head back to Busta's. I helped him drive.

Not much to this driving thing. We made it to Busta's at a decent hour and had Sunday to rest before he headed to work on Monday. I can't wait for my next adventure!

Trip to the West - July 15th

2009-01-06T23:20:00.009-06:00

Day 11 - After a restful slumber where I dreamed of flying INTO THE WEST to visit Cal the Condor, I awoke with aching feet. If only these heathens called humans hadn't stuffed me into cramped quarters at the top of their tent, I would be fully stretched.

But no! They made me sleep with no room. I'd have more room in the glove compartment! Needless to say, I was a not a chipper bird this fine morning. But Busta was bound and determined to take me on a hike today! Only if he takes me in his pocket, because my feet are killing me! Must be my arches.

************************************************************************************

I interrupt this blog to bring you a heart-wrenching story about a man and his rooster. I will call it: The Hike.

Scene: Foot of the hiking trail to Delicate Arch in Arches National Park, Utah. A story told from two different perspectives: one part human, one part aviary.

Benny - It took us 1 hour to hike to the end and I didn't even break a sweat.

Busta - I huffed, wheezed, sputtered, stumbled, scrambled, bumbled, struggled, gasped, cried (briefly) and panted on the way to Delicate Arch. I was sweatier than a fat man in July. Oh, wait, that was me. Benny rode in my pocket on the way up because of his foot hurting him.

Benny - It was a beautiful, sunny day. Busta took numerous pictures of me and my delicate arches.

Busta - I took about 50 pictures of Delicate Arch, 3 of which were with Benny. A lady chuckled when saw me with Benny and told her daughter she should do the same thing with one of her stuffed animals.

Benny - I had to beat the paparazzi off with a stick. Everyone wanted a picture of me and my delicate arches. A gaggle of ladies practically threw themselves at me. All eyes were on me and my delicate arches. Some people even wanted to touch one of them!

Busta - I could literally touch Delicate Arch, that's how close we could get. I couldn't take my eyes off of it! I took pictures from every angle I could think of, including from below. I couldn't get above it, though. I would've need a rope and even then I couldn't climb it!

Benny - Busta roped off the paparazzi so they couldn't get a good angle to take a picture of my delicate arches. Some tried to climb over it, but Busta stood his ground.

Busta - The ground was hard on my butt so I stood up to stretch. As sad as I was to go, I knew I had to start heading down to the parking lot. Wanda and Anna had the car and were picking us up for the rest of our journey.

Benny - Busta was excited to tell me that a car was picking us up to take us for a rest with Journey. I didn't know Journey was in Utah, but they must be at a spa, because they're resting! That sounds like a great idea, because I'm running on empty!

(at the car in the parking lot, with Wanda and Anna inside) Anna - The gas tank is almost empty!

I now bring you back to your regularly scheduled blog.

************************************************************************************

The hike really wiped me out (must've been the sun), so I asked if I could be dropped off with Journey. My request was denied, so I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Busta, Wanda and Anna at Canyonlands National Park. Not much to see there, so we did a little more hiking (I didn't leave the car for fear that the paparazzi was following us!) and then went back to camp. Outside of the hike, not much happened today. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep without the paparazzi watching my every move. Part of me was also hoping that Balanced Rock in Arches N.P. didn't fall and come rolling over our tent in the middle of the night. I slept with both eyes open that night, watching the Utah night for a sign of bad things to come. I slept AND I watched - I'm that good!

You're still not done with the summer vacation?

2009-01-05T23:37:00.002-06:00

Benny - I'm exhausted! Your sister is much more active than you are, Busta!
Busta - Don't you know it! You thought the trip out West was exhausting! Man, her trips are worse! But she is in the army, after all.
Benny - Speaking of trips out West ... Why isn't our Summer trip done?
Busta - I'm taking time to savor the memories and depict them the correct way. You know, like a good wine.
Benny - Poppycock! Hogwash! You are just a procrastinator!
Busta - Yes. But it's a brand new year. "New Year - New Me!". That's my catchphrase for this year. Catchy, huh?
Benny - Here's my catchphrase: "Finish the trip or die!".
Busta - I think that will catch on. At least, with me.
Benny - Good. Now, start writing before I peck your finger off.
Busta - Which one?
Benny - You choose.
Busta - Lucky me.
Benny - TYPE!

Trip to the West - July 14th

2009-01-05T23:13:00.006-06:00

Day 10 - I was up with the sun today. We get to go West today! I can't wait to see Call Condor in L.A.. He's been waiting for my arrival for years. I'm so excited!

After tearing down camp, we got into the car and headed towards Moab in eastern Utah. It was a beautiful day and the sky was - HEY! EASTERN Utah? I thought we were going to L.A. - land of sun, beaches, and hot chicks. Don't make me turn this car around! I'm not kidding! Stupid window! Busta's locked it and I can't get out! Baw-bawk! Help! I'm being help captive! Someone call the police! I've been birdnapped! Help!

They're slowing down. What for? Aahhh ... breakfast. I sat and watched as they ate ... right in front of me! I'm probably related to your breakfast! Finally - help.

Listen, Lone Ranger, I need you to "Hi Ho, Silver, Away!" for assistance while Tonto and I fend them off with a fork. Now, quick - go! Don't just stand there! They're coming! Are you made of cardboard or something? Hurry ... Why, hello, Wanda. What a pretty shirt. "Novia Scotia" - where's that? She picked me up without answering. I glared at the Lone Ranger and Tonto. "Tonto means stupid!" I squawked as I exited with Wanda. Against my will, I might add.

Fine! If I have to go east, then I'll look out the windows. But I won't enjoy the ... Hey, why is everything so gray out here? And now around this bend it's all blue? Turn the corner! I want the next color! Ooohhhh .... brown. I didn't see that coming. Busta, watch the road. There's no guard rails, and I'm not sure I can muster the energy to fly if we wreck. Don't look at me like that - Watch the road! Squawk! You're making me nervous! Are we there yet? What? An unscheduled stop? You mad man, Busta!

We had stopped at Capital Reef National Park. It was the on the way to Moab (in EASTERN Utah!) so they figured they could explore for acouple hours. We saw the "reef" and then "

off-roaded" in the Grand Wash.

I finally was allowed some air, but the sun was broiling hot, so I found some shade. At least Wanda is nice to her hostages. Busta's driving made me want to peck his eyes out. Stupid driver! After a few more minutes of echoing in the canyon (Bawk! bawk! bawk!), we left to get back on the road. It was kind of fun and I actually got to stretch my legs (my arches in my foot are killing me!) and get some sun. All against my better judgement, of course.

So we got to Moab at a decent hour (the sun was setting - IN THE WEST!), set up tent, and had dinner. Or rather, they did. Again, I had to fend for myself. I gave them an evil look when they got back. You will pay for this! You ... will ... pay!!!!! Then I fell asleep.

Polly's Big Adventure

2009-01-01T14:41:00.004-06:00

WHEWWW! It's been a long couple of weeks. My tour of Europe was OINKALICIOUS!! Had sooo much fun. Can't wait to blog all about it, but right now there's no time. I have to pack for Hawaii. I'm leaving on Sunday and will be there for 4 days. It will be nice to escape this cold harsh Illinois winter for a few days. What do you think, one piece or bikini...Yeah BIKINI all the way. Ta Ta for now... you know you are all jealous!

Trip to the West - July 13th

2008-12-08T21:43:00.008-06:00

Day 9 – I was on unhappy bird when I woke up in the morning. My dreams were filled will unbathed-in waters, unsoared-at cliffs, unsniffed chipmunks. I’ll show them, these humans called “Ellen, Kathy and John”. The wrath of nature will descend upon them. Come, my fine-feathered friends! No sounds of wings flapping. Fine. Come crashing down from cliffs on high, oh Mother Earth! A car went whizzing by on the road outside the campground. Mother Nature, are you there? Silence. FINE!! I’ll call back later. But I ask you to smite these stupid humans! Soon I got in the car (OK, fine! I was put in the car) and off we went to Bryce Canyon.

But before Bryce Canyon, we went through Red Rock Canyon.

And they meant red! If the sun had been out in full force, we would’ve been blinded by the bluffs! I even got to peck at a tunnel! But we had a canyon named Bruce to envision, so no dawdling for us!

John had been waxing poetic about Bryce Canyon, saying how wonderful it would be.

He could only hope it was a pretty as Zion. I gave him the evil eye. I hope your eyes get struck lighting, I thought as we came to the canyon‘s edge. Nothing to see here – just some trees and some red rocks. Then we rounded the corner. It was like a tie-dye T-shirt had exploded in the canyon. All sorts of crazy rock formations and shades or red and orange filled the vista. Ellen decided to hike a trail into the bottom of the canyon for just a few minutes. Two hours later, she was regaling us with tales of rocks down below. It was glorious day. And there was more of the rim to see!

Next was a natural rock bridge. I tried to squeeze into it, but my wing was too big.

Then we went to Ponderosa Point, where I met up with Crazy Crandall Crow. He wasn’t very talkative; I think he was exhausted from his long flight. I told him to say “Hi” to the murder.

Finally, after driving through some ice pellets (John said it was hail, but I thought the whole was just like heaven), we stopped for one last photo. Ellen was the only one around, which was good, since she is my favorite. The red dress at Sven’s place did it for me! BAWK-BAWK!

After lusting after Wanda, we headed back to camp. I was a much happier chicken after my excursion to Bryce Canyon. They actually included me! And the cared so much, they surprised me with a pond in the tent for me. How sweet! Wait! Why are you getting rid of the water? Stop the bucket brigade! Well, they didn’t stop. At least they didn’t throw me out with the tent water. Sweet dreams, Mother Nature, I thought as I drifted off to sleep. You can be nice to them now.

Trip to the West – July 12th

2008-12-03T21:37:00.006-06:00

Day 8 - Today was a glorious day. I woke up to the birds singing, the sun shining, and the humans cooperating with each other. Harmony in nature is such a great thing! According to John, we’re going to visit Zion National Park today. Apparently there are lots of rocks and rivers and trees. I love rocks and rivers and trees! These are a few of my favorite things. I could hardly wait to fly amongst the fauna of an awesome National Park. And I’m still waiting … GRRR!

I thought for sure I was going to get a grand tour of Zion. I had my picture taken with the park sign and then I saw sky for as far as my little eyes could see.

The rocks were sculptured in weird designs with colors seeping through to create a rainbow effect in the cliffs. Water seemed to be dripping from everywhere, and the Virgin River was shadowing us on our way to the visitor center. John parked the car. Then he and Ellen and Kathy left. Without me! I bawked and crowed and cried for them to come back, but they were gone. Apparently I would be stuck in my mobile prison. If I had the ability to reach the pedal, I would’ve hotwired the car and left them like they left me! How incredibly rude of them! I wanted to bathe in the western waters. I wanted to soar high amongst the cliffs. I wanted to sniff the chipmunks. But apparently I was stuck in this metal contraption they call a car. I was amazed that I didn’t get dehydrated because they didn’t leave me any water. Time kept on ticking, ticking, ticking … into the future. A future where John, Ellen and Kathy were punished for leaving me in the car. I had an elaborate murder scheme planned, but they returned before I could whittle the seatbelt into a shiv. I gave them the stinkeye for the rest of the day, but they ignored me. If they do that tomorrow, I’m flying the coop. I wonder what the Pacific Ocean looks like? My dreams that night involved death, John, and a vat of oil. I slept well.

2008-12-03T21:14:00.001-06:00

JOHN WELLS NEEDS TO UPDATE THE TRIP OUT WEST NOW!!!

Fleeing the Country

2008-12-02T21:47:00.002-06:00

I know you haven't heard much from me (Polly Pork). I've tried to lay low for the last few months. Lucky Duck and I have been hanging at Sven and Risa's trying to stay out of trouble. It seems to follow us wherever we go. Their place was getting a little crowded for our taste. They have adopted a kitten and boy is he feisty, and has a taste for pork, and duck. So we are on the run again. The Fuzz were sniffing around the other day anyway so we knew it was time to scram. We decided it would be a good idea to split up. I'm headed to Europe with a friend of a friend. I don't think the accommodations are going to be that great, something about shoving me into a backpack. I did hear rumors that we are visiting France, Vienna, Germany and Switzerland. I'm sure I'll have some great stories to report when I get back. As for Lucky, sounds like he's going to try to make it to South America, we'll see how good the La Migra (border patrol agents) are in sunny California.

Trip to the West – July 11th

2008-11-20T21:24:00.001-06:00

Day 7 – The freeze is still on. Hopefully as we go towards the desert in Utah, someone will thaw out. It’s quiet in the car, which is normally good, but it’s still tense. My blood pressure can’t take it. I seriously hope they make up.

At least the scenery is awesome. Lots of open sky for me to fly in. Buttes and mesas and scrub brush on both sides of the road. I haven’t seen any of my buzzard or vulture cousins, but it’s definitely the area for their kind.

Ah … Utah. Basically the same as Arizona. Where are we stopping at again? Glendale, UT? Where is that? Oh, right here. Man this KOA is in the middle of nowhere. Why are we staying here again? Oh, yes. Because it’s half way between Zion N.P and Bryce Canyon N.P. That makes sense (I guess). And would you know it? We actually got to camp at a decent time. Which means we’re able to relax. And apparently thaw out, because now Kathy and John are talking again. It only took a plastic knife to John’s forearm to cut through the tension. Humans and their emotions …

Well, the tent is now less frigid and cozier (and louder, what with John’s snoring). This was a travel day, so nothing really happened. Which is good. I can’t take any more excitement for one trip. And hopefully Kathy and John play nice (my claws are crossed). Tomorrow we go to Zion N.P. Hopefully it will fun. YEAH!!!!

Trip to the West – July 10th

2008-11-19T21:59:00.002-06:00

Day 6 – Well, the Grand Canyon freeze is here is full force! Kathy and John are acting like high schoolers and are talking through Ellen, who is beside herself being the buffer. Man, this will be a fun day!

Actually, it was. We basically walked around the rim of the Canyon. Kathy was on her own, so I was wandering with Ellen and John. I did get close to the edge one time (I was only holding on by a wing).

And I’m not a fuddy-duddy, but I did have a stick up my arse for part of the time. You would think that Ellen and John would know better? But no.

I was even an international celebrity as I posed for a Japanese couple. Please take me with you! I squawked at them. These Americans are squabbling and putting sticks up my as*. Apparently they didn’t understand me because they kept walking. Must be the language barrier.

Most of the day was spent walking along the rim. We did stop for a ranger-led lecture on the rim, and while there, one of the condors came flying by. I waved hello to him but he just kept on flying. Snob!

After a full day of visiting the shops, stores, restaurants and building along the rim, we decided we had enough and went back to the tent. Eventually I fell asleep, despite the cold. And the silence. Maybe tomorrow they’ll act like adults?

New post

2008-11-19T21:29:00.002-06:00

Benny - YOU POSTED!!
John - Yes, I did. I thought I should finish the trip out West that we took this summer.
Benny - Who told you to do that?
John - No one. I did it on my own.
Benny - LIAR!!
John - Prove it.
Benny - Chris told me that he was going to torment you forever and a day if you didn't post something.
John - He did not. It was just for forever. No days were mentioned.
Benny - Oh, but they were ... to me (evil chicken cackle).
John - You're one disturbed chicken.
Benny - And your point is?
John - Nothing. I'm just stating a fact.

Trip out West – July 9th

2008-11-19T21:24:00.004-06:00

Day 5 – Today was going to be a fun day. According to John, we’re going to go to the Grand Canyon. I’ve heard there are lots of condors there, so I am totally looking forward to it. Of course, I would fly myself, but why do that when you have a human chauffeur that’ll drive you wherever you want to go. Onward, westward, Jeeves!

Our first stop: Four Corners National Monument. Apparently there is only one place in the US where 4 states intersect, and where going there. How exciting! Thankfully they woke me up before we got there; I wouldn’t want to miss this exciting sight! OK, it wasn’t that bad. At least I got my picture taken in 4 states – at the SAME TIME!! My left wing was on Arizona, my right wing was on Utah, my claws were on New Mexico and my beak was on Colorado. Or something like that …

After the exciting Four Corners stop, we took a left turn towards Albuquerque, N.M. We didn’t quite get there, and instead headed towards the Painted Desert N.M. It was very cool, but very dry. My little body was parched. I went looking for a watering hole and instead ran into a dinosaur! I tried running away, but he captured me in his jaws!

I struggled to break free, and eventually I was able to fly away from his clutches.

I hope I don’t run into any more of them … they were vicioius!

We kept heading west, but eventually headed north toward the Grand Canyon. As we set up camp, I could smell the condors from a distance. Eventually I’ll see you my far-flung, feathered friends! But first we have to eat, take some sunset pictures and then sleep. Which we did, with a little bit of drama thrown in for good measure. (Why John and Kathy couldn’t just get along was beside me. I don’t even remember what they were fighting about; it was that stupid. Humans … they just don’t get it).

Well, it’s off to bed. The tent was a tense jumble of emotions so thick you could cut with a knife, but thankfully I was above it all (literally – my cot was at the top of the tent). Hopefully tomorrow is better!

Benny and Julie in Australia

2008-11-13T21:09:00.005-06:00

Sorry for the delay in updating the blog! Here's the latest I e-mail I got from my sister:

Hi Brother, Just thought I'd let you know me and Benny are doing just fine in Oz land. After much flying around and getting delayed in UAE, we arrived in Cairns a few days ago. We are now in Adelaid about to go on a three day/two night trip to Kangaroo Island. I sent a few pictures to show you he is fine. You will have to invite me to participate in his blog again as I thought I'd already signed up, but when i checked, it had expired. Anyways, the weather is gorgeous and I'm trying to get rid of a sinus cold. I have a Australian paper with Obama on the front and everyone asks me what I think about it. Well take care and don't forget to add me to the Blog again. Talk to you later, Love Julie (Benny said hi and you'd better not have touched his stuff) whatever that means.

And here are the (3) pictures she sent me:

Below is on Camp Arifjon in Kuwait

My sister has access to the blog, so hopefully she'll post something soon! If she sends any pictures my way, I'll post them. And I'll continue with the trip posts, too.

Benny arrives in Afghanistan!

2008-09-27T07:48:00.004-05:00

John shipped Benny off to his sister in Afghanistan on Saturday, Sept. 13th. Here are some pictures of the sending off party:

And my sister just confirmed that she received him yesteday. Here's her e-mail to John:

Hi Brother, I want you to know that Benny arrived today, in a record 8 days!! I took his picture right out of the box since he was a little weak after no food for 8 days. Almost, as some of my cookies had been eatin but I forgive him. He helped me put on that hideous puke yellow thing. The welcoming party showed up after that so I took a picture of their first meeting. You had a kiss from Texas, a frog from NY, a cat named max who was shy, a rat named it who wasn't sure about benny and vice versa and some others. One or two more were missing and I'm told he'll meet them later. Well, I've got to go. This is a huge picture so i'll send more later. Love, Julie

Here's a picture she took:

I will keep you updated with any other pictures she sends me of Benny from Afghanistan. In the mean time, Benny threatened to sick the "Animal Mob" on me if I didn't continue updating the vacation he took this summer. I'll get on that this weekend, since he's making friends in a war zone!

On The Lamb

2008-09-20T21:30:00.008-05:00

A couple of Benny’s friends from the barnyard stopped by today. They were sad he was not around and that he was heading off to Afghanistan. They were very well behaved for barnyard folk. Their names were Polly Pork and Lucky Ducky. They said they were on the lamb for disposing of Leo Lamb. I tell you I got a chill down my spine when they told that to me. I am a little freaked out that I let Benny stay with us and from what I gather Benny was a key participant in the disposal of Leo. Good luck John! I hope you have not set him off by not feeding him and making him sleep in a box. Polly said that Leo would steal Benny’s food and shove him into small places for fun. I would keep one eye open while you sleep.

Phone call from Benny

2008-09-20T20:14:00.004-05:00

I got a frantic phone call from Benny yesterday. There was a lot of clucking but what I got was that John was not feeding him so he would not weigh so much when John shipped him off to Afghanistan So John did not have to pay so much and he is being forced to sleep in the box he is going to be shipped in. I have insured Benny John will be taken care of! I Vill deal Vith John in an unpleasant Vay!

SVEN!